All is left is to ring the bell (fruk)

What now?

The knock on my door caused me to rush to answer; however, upon seeing who it was, I closed the door immediately. "HEY! DON'T BE LIKE THAT! I AM SORRY, OKAY!"

"Not a real apology...dickhead...."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"GOOD!"

"Arthur...I am sorry...I did not mean to make it harder for you; I know you were probably already stressed out...I just...didn't want you to leave me..." He spoke. He said the last part a bit sadly, and I leaned my head against the door. This reminded me of when he came to me a long time ago when the boys were small.

"Even if you were upset...You didn't have to take it out on me," I whispered, knowing he would not hear me. I had begun suddenly feeling emotional, noticing how my eye view became blurring. There was something in my eyes...but that happened a lot nowadays. It happened in moments like this.

When I would remember everything...I'd like to think that the love would have saved me somehow...That wasn't true...not simply, at least.

I quickly wiped my face and opened the door, seeing Francis standing there, hopeful. "I am sorry...I just..." He began to walk closer to me, and I backed away inside. Francis closed the door behind him, and I observed him. "Your'e sorry? God, Francis, I am done!" I spoke. I rolled my eyes at him, walking away. "Where are you going? What do you mean?"

"Away from you, I know we told each other how we feel, but this keeps happening! I knew this would! We will...never be able to stop, huh?" I asked. I looked at him as he followed me, and he stayed silent. It was in our nature.

"I am sorry, okay...I did not want you to leave the EU because I knew it would be hard...plus...I did not want you to be isolated and alone..."

"YOU made it harder for ME! I was lucky to find a solution! See, this is exactly what I keep telling you! We will never be able to get along. We may have feelings for each other, but at this point, I feel it is because we only have each other! I mean, we fight so much, and now! It Is petty, and I can't tell anymore if our feelings are genuine..."

"Oh..don't be like that...You know I have been in love with you for a long time..."

I tilted my head at him in disbelief, and he did not say much after that. "Then I am not sure what to do; you have a funny way of showing it...and I think I am more tired than anything else. I am tired of living this long useless, meaningless life that never seems to be enough. Nothing I do is enough, and I am sick of it..."

I was about to walk away from him again, but he grabbed my shoulder, stopping me. "Don't ever say that...your life has never been useless. Your presence has more meaning than you want to believe. You...You are my best friend..." He spoke. His face turned red, and I stood with furrowed brows.

"You are probably the only one that might feel that way...but you need to understand that you have caused many of the problems I had to endure..."

"I know!" He spoke. Francis pulled me in for a hug, and I dropped my hands to the side as he held me. I never got along with anyone...so I always worried that I was the problem. "Don't talk like you want to die...that is what it sounds like. You sound like you have given up on everything. Yes, I might be to blame for most of it, but I promise that things are different. Even if you feel like no one else will appreciate you, know that I will be here for you no matter what," he whispered.

I took a deep breath in, slowly reaching my hands up to return the embrace. "I hate you so much," I whispered. He held me tighter, resting his head on my shoulder as I did. "After knowing someone for so long, it is understandable to hate them. I hate you, too; you annoy me so much and give me the biggest headache...but I am still absolutely in love with you."

"Don't say anything you can't take back..."

"Darling...I wouldn't want to take it back. I am prepared for anything that may come from it..."

I held him tighter and felt my tears squish between my cheek and his shirt. I might still be in denial for at least a little while. My brain will never be able to accept the idea of someone like him loving me unconditionally. "You say that now..."

"And I will say it forever...till I physically cannot. I want you and I to be happy at any cost. Even if you aren't ready now, I will wait however long you want. You have always had my...affection..." he whispered. It made me smile a bit, causing me to separate from the embrace and look at him.

"And, not to put you on the spot or anything...but it is much more acceptable now to be homosexual than it was before!" He pointed out. I rolled my eyes at him, fully pulling away from him. "Unbelievable," I laughed.

"Where are you going?" He asked. I had begun heading for my door, and he watched me, shocked. "I want food. Would you care to join? Or were you going to stand at the centre of my living space, looking like a complete utter idiot!?" I laughed. I turned to him, smiling and seeing how a goofy look appeared across his sweet face.

"Does this mean you accept my apology?"

"Hmmm...maybe...I will think about it!"

"Oh, don't be that way," he giggled. We both stopped to stare at each other, still smiling. I would not know where to go with this first. However, Francis said not to force anything and let it happen if it were to happen. Perhaps this was it? Maybe this really was the start of me letting it finally happen, naturally, on my terms with no one else to interfere. That was all I really wanted anyways.