𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐗 || [𝑴𝒊𝒏𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈]

Chapter 17- Sleep With Me

Jisung crawled into his room.

"What the fuck is wrong with them? I'll kill them.. I'll kill them all.."

He was alone now, he touched the part he'd gotten slapped in. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Guess I missed being h-hit", he thought and laughed to himself.

The lights were off, a single file of moonlight stole in through the window.

"Alone. Again.", he thought to himself.

His head began to reel, he regretted every sip of alcohol he'd bought at the roadside a few hours back. Regret, that's all he knew anyway.

Jisung sat with his back to the door. He couldn't afford to stand up again.

"I don't understand. All I ever wanted was to love."
His eyes roamed across the room, searching for nothing in particular and everything in general.

"There's my guitar.", the blue guitar stood against the wall.
"I had about f-five of these.. but Dad.. Dad.."

His face scrunched up, he tried his best to hold on to the tears. But he had no control.

"Why...why did God bring me back to M-Min-, I can't say his name.. I'll tear my lips off b-before I-I do.."

Jisung thought of Yuqi, of Miyeon, of his planned festival.

"I'd worked... I'd tried.. so h-hard,"he sobbed, "I guess... I guess it's just not MEANT for me.. I'm a fucking failure.."

He crawled over to a far corner of the little room. He fished in his red and black bag. He was looking for something.

"Ah.", His hands touched the outline of a flute.

He stared at it. He held it close to his chest and started sobbing- with little tears that turned violent in the blink of an eye. His whole body shook.

"Minho... All I ever wanted was a life in your shape..I looked up to you.. All I ever wanted was to dance and sing and play on a stage.. like you did.. I just wanted to be you.. Why-why did you do this to me?"

He felt pathetic.
" I should fucking kill myself "

Jisung grasped around in the darkness till he felt the rugged edges of a little object.
He took out its blade.

His pen-knife.

" I just.. I just need to.. get it over with.. "

He touched the blade to his wrist and hesitated.

"... Really? I'll do this.. over a guy like that?.."

An impulse made Jisung look at the door expectantly

And that's when Minho burst through the door.

Jisung turned around in a split second, and in his hurry, he'd cut deep into his wrist. Little red birds began to perch on that branch.

"Umm.. so.. Felix and Hyunjin are staying over.. and err.. they're in my room.. so.. its just for one-"

Jisung bent his head down and banged it hard on the edge of his bed.

"Jisung!", Minho erupted and ran to his side, " What are you doing?!"

Jisung kept his head down, not meeting Minho's eye, not replying.

"What is that on your hand?! Oh my god, Jisung, what have you done?!"

Minho scurried around.

Jisung shut his eyes, half expecting a hit or a punch or a kick from the older.

Instead, Jisung felt soft cotton on his hand, and gauze being tired around it.

He looked up at Minho, half in shock, half in another emotion he couldn't explain, but it showed in his eyes.

"Don't worry about it. My high school friend Seungmin used to do this too, I helped him stop. You'll be fine."

"B-but M-min- why?"

"I don't know. Maybe I like not knowing."

"M-min- I-I'm so-sorr-"

Minho touched his finger on Jisung's lip.

"Shh. I should apologise instead. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Jisung. But- you're drunk. You need to sleep. I'll sleep on the floor. Let me make your bed first. Can you stand up?"

" N-no"

Minho felt a worry arise in the back of his head. He remembered little bits from his childhood. He remembered hating gay people. He remembered what he'd done to Jisung. He remembered how he'd felt when he got to know Felix was gay.. but he couldn't deny that he longed for liberation like that. He felt caged himself. He didn't know why. Its just too fucking much to think about.

"Minho.. sleep with me.."

"W-what?"

"I.. don't want to be alone.. tonight.."

Minho thought to himself, "He's being so cute. He's too drunk, he'll forget everything tomorrow.. but he's too cute-"

"Please?"

"Fine, Jisung. But if you're uncomfortable, wake me up, I'll go sleep on the floor."

Minho made the bed. It wasn't soft. The college doesn't prepare the best of amenities despite its reputation, but it snugly fit Jisung inside it. The covers pulled him into a hug. Minho bit his lip to hold back the smile.

He got into bed himself, and, Jisung seemed to be asleep in a second. Minho turned away and shut his eyes.

......

The night was still dark. Minho suddenly woke up. He'd dreamt about falling, he usually did. He made sure to make no sound in case he disturbed Jisung.

He turned about, Jisung's eyes were wide open- and they were staring at Minho's face. Minho could tell the alcohol hadn't fully worn off.

"Jisung? Are you alright?", Minho asked in his sleepy voice.

"I love you ,Minho."