DIFFERENT LIFE'S PERSPECTIVE(ON HOLD)

CHAPTER 16(b)

A/N: I might not be able to update tomorrow, so here's an early update. Enjoy🔥

DAFE JAMUIKE DESMOND

The dinner was going well so far, I hadn't said a word and they didn't even make an attempt to talk to me, which I was very okay with.

I wasn't even in the mood to eat anything so I just kept turning my fork around my plates, trying everything in my might not to look in their direction.

They were talking about the most stupid things and their laughter was even more annoying. I kept on stabbing the poor potatoes on my plates. I just wanted this stupid dinner to end so I could go to my room.

"You don't like the food" came Miss homewrecker's voice and I could feel both of their eyes boring holes in my head. If it was any other day I would have just said I wasn't hungry and walked out but I was still holding on to the promise dad made.

It was irish potato with chicken sauce, it looked and smelled really good, I'm sure I would have liked it if I wasn't eating it with them.

I put one in my mouth and a burst of flavours exploded in my mouth, my tongue danced around in happiness. It was amazingly good. It almost tasted as good as mum's cooking.

I continued eating, I tried to calm down so that they wouldn't notice anything but of course dad did. Immediately I took the last bite he made a comment, why couldn't he just shut up and let me be.

"I can see you enjoyed the food with the way you were rushing it" he sounded like he was trying to stifle a laugh, I didn't even respond to him. "It was made by Kamsi"

Immediately he said that alarms began ringing in my head, my head shot up and my eyes met his which had a glint in them. Dad had a mischievous smile on his face while Miss homewrecker looked like she was blushing. She was smiling so hard, I was afraid her mouth would tear.

None of that was my concern right now, I felt ashamed of myself. I had compared another woman's cooking to mum's cooking, not just even a regular woman, this was the woman dad apparently wanted to use to replace mum. I felt angry, ashamed and even disgusted with myself.

"Good night" I said then stood up and left, I needed to get this food out of my system. Immediately I got to my room, I rushed to my bathroom, stuck a toothbrush down my throat and emptied the contents of my stomach down the toilet.

When I was through, I brushed my teeth, focusing on my tongue. I wanted to get rid of the taste but as minutes flew by, the disgust I felt for myself only increased.

Finally I gave up and I just rinsed my mouth then I stared at myself in the mirror and a broken boy stared back at me. My eyes were already becoming glassy and I so badly wanted to look away but I just continued staring.

The more I stared, the more I saw past my amazing hair, which seemed to play a big part in influencing how I looked, and I realised just how much I looked like dad. Sure, I always knew I never really got anything from mum, except the hair but realising that was messing with my mind.

The anger I felt towards myself had now diverted and everything went to dad. If only he knew just how much I hated and depised him.

The way his face had turned soft when he persuaded me to go down for the dinner and the way that same face changed from the soft one to his mischievous smile.

I used my right hand that was clenching the sink in my bathroom to swiftly pick up a glass hand wash bottle that was on the sink and I threw it at the mirror in anger.

I watched as it shattered to pieces, a big part of it was broken but some still remained. I picked up the glass hand wash bottle again and was about to throw it at the mirror again when I heard a knock on my door.

Obviously, I knew it was dad, who else. I just wanted to ignore him and continue venting my anger on the mirror when I heard the door being opened.

"Desmond" I heard him call out my name.

Shit! I forgot to lock the door

I didn't walk out of the bathroom though, I remained there, quickly locking the door of the bathroom and seconds after I did that I saw the knob turn. A smile almost appeared on my face.

Almost

At least he didn't have his way this time. It sounded as if he was letting out a sigh then he began speaking.

"Look Desmond, I'm not even going to try to tell you to open the door because I know you won't and I'm not going to explain myself because I know you will never understand. Besides somethings are best left in the dark"

Ehn?

He laughed then continued"I know you liked the food though, don't worry she'll soon become a familiar face in this house. I'm not going to apologise. I've given you all I could Des but you keep on pushing me away, I've done all I could for your happiness but you are so ungrateful. I'm tired of your silly games, I'm not getting any younger, it's time I actually start thinking and putting my self first" he finished with yet another sigh.

I waited until I heard the door being closed indicating that he had left before I burst into tears. He didn't give me anything, he took everything away from me.

My back slid down the bathroom tiled walls until I hit the floor, the tears continued flowing and I pressed my hand against my lips to drown the noise.

'Boys aren't meant to cry, you are pathetic' my inner voice mocked me and I felt a bit of happiness because I knew mum's voice would counter it......... but she didn't.

Maybe even mum thought I was pathetic, maybe that was why she let dad take me away, maybe that was why she left me.

I had a very hot bath that night, it was supposed to serve as a punishment, a self punishment, but it somehow managed to calm me down.

That night I went to bed, crying my heart out. I thought of my life. The sad moments, the happy ones. I thought of everything, mum, dad, school, music.

Then when the feeling was becoming too much to bear, I took out my jotter and a pen and I actually wrote down a song. It expressed exactly how I felt. At least something good came out of today, after so many years. As usual I wrote the song in tears. That seemed to be my thing.

As I wrote the song, as the lyrics flowed, I calmed down, peace engulfing me once again. I was grateful because I felt reborned.

I wasn't going to waste my tears on things I can't change anymore. If mum really loved me like she claimed she did, she would have come to take me away or at least come to see me.

Love

Such a pathetic word. A word that feels you with happiness and then snatches it away from you in a bid to mock you. The word alone disgusted me.

There's no such thing as love, and even if there was then I'm convinced that it only brings pain and anything that causes you pain shouldn't be termed as love. Such a strong word, a word that has lost it's meaning.

So as I wrote the song, I cried my heart eyes. Determined to cry until I got the last tear out and as I wrote the last line, the last tear dropped and I smiled a weak smile.

The last line of the song was both lyrics and a promise.

'I will cry no more'

I kept on saying it and eventually I drifted off to sleep