We've Never Been Apart This Long

The Koopalings Try to See Wario's Hand, While Luigi Tries to Play a Wild Card

"Alright, you." Iggy says. "Why don't you tell us about how Bowser finally pulled off marrying the princess?

"Please do!" Wendy agrees. "How'd the plan go from stealing from the kingdom to marrying the princess?"

"Oh." Wario waves it off. "I had a little help."

"But Bowser's been fighting Mario for years !" Ludwig points out. "He wouldn't help him for anything! "

"You really wanna know?" Wario grins. "When he started the plan to steal from the kingdom, Mario's brother was still brainwashed from the whole mess with the Chaos Heart."

"And he was so heartbroken he let his guard down with you?" Roy fills in the blank. "And you decided to set him up instead?"

"Not how it was supposed to go down." Wario shakes his head. "But someone else was pulling the reins."

"You got something on him, don't you?" Iggy squeals gleefully.

"But everyone knew about the charges!" Lemmy points out. "If he's going along with this, he had to have done something else! Tell us!"

"Peach came to her senses and admitted her true feelings!" Wario says, shrugging. "What can I say, this was always how it was gonna end."

"You can't lie to us!" Wendy exclaims. "We all know something BIG had to have happened. Tell us, so we can help both of you!"
"Why?" Wario crosses his arms, suspicious. "This anything to do with what I overheard you talking to Bowser about?"

"You were skulking in the hallways?" Roy narrows his eyes from behind his glasses. "Heh. Maybe you're smarter than you look."

"Thanks." Wario smiles.

"What exactly did you hear?" Iggy's not about to drop his guard down, wand pointed at him.

"Just that you want to help Bowser's marriage become permanent, Bowser doesn't trust any of you, so now you're coming after me thinking if I tell you how I helped Bowser marry her, he'll be more inclined to help you."

"Wow." Wendy claps mockingly. "You come up with that one all on your own?"

"You know it." Wario replies.

"Are you gonna tell us or not?" Morton Jr. demands.

"Not sure." Wario answers. "What do I get out of it?"

"Whaddaya want?" Ludwig asks.

Wario shrugs, running a finger over Wendy's gold bracelets. "Oh I'm sure somewhere among you, there's something very worth my while."

Wendy snatches her arms away in disgust.
"Aw, what's wrong?" Wario taunts. "Those don't have any sentimental value, do they?"

"You're Bowser's blackmail, therefore he's already gone out of his way to keep you cozy." Wendy snaps. "And I'd never let you get anywhere near my jewelry."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Wario says. "Remember, I have access to Princess Peach's vaults. Sure you wouldn't wanna go rooting through there yourself, pick something out? I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Think on it, would ya? I'll be sitting on Princess Peach's throne counting my money if you need me."

And then he's gone, with the Koopalings shuddering in sync.

"Any luck tracking down Bowser Jr?" Mario says over the phone.

" None. " Luigi sighs. " Maybe try bringing him up to Bowser again? See if he drops his guard again? "

"No way." Mario says immediately. "He'd just taunt me again. That's why I'm positive it's our only shot at blackmailing him."