We've Never Been Apart This Long

Let's Warm Up Those Cold Feet, Shall We?

Peach walks through the gardens by herself, not surprised when Nastasia joins her a moment later.

"Is it safe to assume you heard Mario and Luigi know?"

"About you being behind the embezzlement charges? Absolutely." Peach sits on a bench. "On top of knowing you told me the truth, and I didn't tip them off."

"And?"

"What do you think?" Peach shrugs. "They definitely weren't happy."

"Is there a chance they're going to make you deal with the current situation on your own?" Nastasia wonders.

"I offered to go to the Chancellor, tell him everything."

"Sounds better than me going to the Chancellor."

"I told one of my Toads I don't deserve to call myself their princess." Peach admits. "Not if it means everyone gets hurt because of me."

"What do you think you're doing?" Bowser growls at Mario upon finding him in the conference room. "Unless you've made a decision, then please, share with the class."

"Share with the class?" Mario glares at Bowser. "About what I've decided?"

"Are you going to persuade the princess to marry me?" Bowser says. "Or should I call and make sure your jail cell has bunk beds for you and your brother?"

"Answer me something, because after all this time, I have never really understood this." Mario stands up from the table and walks over. "Why? What is so important about kidnapping Peach, in particular, when you know she hates you, and that I'd never force her like that?"

"Because I know you're smarter than that." Bowser laughs. "You know Luigi's a weakling and wouldn't last a day behind bars. And once you realize this is the only way you can save him, you'll see that siding with the bad guys was the smartest move you ever made!"

"Well, when you put it like that." Mario sighs in resignation. "I guess my hands are tied, aren't they? My answer is..."

"Not in a million years!"

The new voice makes the plumber and the Koopa King turn, and there's Luigi, furious and fists clenched.

"Luigi?" Mario walks over to him. "What...are you doing here?"

"Apparently stopping you from getting Peach to marry this fire breathing turtle!" Luigi exclaims.

"Aw, how sweet." Bowser mocks.

"Stai zitto." Luigi snaps. "And please tell me why you've still yet to get a clue that Peach wants nothing to do with you? She'd imprison you if you weren't currently blackmailing her, and you know it!"

"Oh wow." Bowser says. "I never really thought of that. The wedding's off! And while I'm at it, I have photos the Chancellor will be very interested in!"

"Your empty threats are getting old." Luigi crosses his arms.

"Wouldn't you like to think so?" Bowser laughs again. "Scuse me, I've got to go book two jail cells that are the absolute furthest away from each other as possible."

Then he starts to walk away, until he hears,

"Stop!"

The yell from Mario only makes Bowser grin, as he turns around.

"You have nothing, and you know it. Slamming into Wario wasn't an attack, it was an accident ."

"So you accidentally picked me up by the tail, spun me around, hit Wario, strapped him to a bed, wheeled him out of the castle, and left him at the hospital?"

"Wario's a con artist, and you're a criminal. What reason do they have to believe anything you tell them?" Luigi says from behind them.

"Because picture it!" Bowser laughs. "The famous Super Mario, terrified of his life in the Mushroom Kingdom was over because of the con artist he hired, and dragged the princess down with him. And if the man ended up missing or dead, it all goes away. You lured him here, to the castle, and attacked Wario to shut him up, then begged his little brother to help him cover it up."

He stomps a foot, making the room rattle. "Enough games. You two will be arrested, and never see each other again, if I have anything to say about it."

"Wrong." Now Luigi gets between Mario and Bowser, angry. "You've hurt my brother for the last time."

Bowser scoffs, "And what is Green Mario gonna do about it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Luigi doesn't flinch at the derogatory name, but he has to reach out an arm to forcefully shove Mario back before continuing. "Wario says one word about leaving him for dead, I'll say it was me."

"No!" Mario grabs Luigi's shoulders, spinning him around. "No, Weegee, I'd never let you do that. Not for me, not for anyone."

"I don't care. I'll do it anyway." Luigi says stubbornly.

"Did you forget those Lakitu photos Wario has on us?" Mario says adamantly. "Anyone can see you didn't do anything!"

"They don't show you doing anything either." Luigi points out. "All they have is pictures of what happened after . All I have to do is say I was desperate to make things right between us again, and I wasn't gonna let this get in the way, so I showed up and attacked Wario."

"Luigi, I love you, but you are clearly not right in the head." Mario says without a hint of sarcasm. "You're not getting anywhere near this whole thing if I have anything to say about it."

"I repeat: Aw, how sweet." Bowser mocks. "Too bad it doesn't matter. The photos show both of you wheeling Wario's body out of here. Unless Peach marries me, you will be arrested, and separated, and die alone."

"Or..." Mario says, making Luigi turn in surprise. "We could talk about what this is really about: the money. At least where Wario's concerned."

"Wario would never --"

"He's going along with everything you say because you promised him the payoff he never got, right?" Mario asks. "So why don't I negotiate with Peach, and we can hand it over right now, in exchange for destroying those photos?"

"Wario is ready for anything." Bowser sneers. "And trust me, you can't match the price I promised him."

"You can't be serious."

"You're right, Wario only cares about the money." Bowser admits. "But with the Mushroom Kingdom and the Darklands united, he'd be in a bigger position of power, which means a bigger salary than that pathetic finance job Peach gave him."

"This is getting us nowhere." Mario turns to walk away, but Luigi follows.

"Mario, come on! You can't let the princess do this. Let Wario try his best with the authorities, and they'll see he was bluffing!"

"I don't have to bluff!" Bowser says behind them.

"Weegee, you know I'll always put you first." Mario says to him, putting a hand on his shoulder and making him look right at him. "And I'm so proud of you for standing up for both of us and trying to protect me. But I can't let you do this for me. Not this time. I was the trainwreck who hired Wario in the first place, I am the one who deserves whatever they're going to dish out."

"Does Peach?" Luigi says, satisfied when Mario flinches at just her name. "Look, I know you're still mad she kept quiet about Nastasia's plan but look at me!" Luigi grabs both of Mario's shoulders, shaking them. "I'm here! All of me! Everything we've been through, it's all right here!" he pats his chest. "I'm not losing you again. Or Peach. Please don't make me."

"Weegee, please ." Mario begs. "Please don't say that to me. Not here, not now. I put us all in danger, I need to make it right."

He doesn't wait for Luigi to protest again, just walks over to Bowser, "Peach will be at the altar next time you see her. Now get out of my way."

"I don't even get to get down on one knee?" Bowser jokes.

"Don't push it." Mario seethes. "When should she be ready?"

"As soon as you tell her." Bowser replies. "Immediately."