Church: What?
Tucker: I'm just saying it doesn't look much like a circle, it looks more like we're forming a triangle. It's just a side-note.
Church: Okay fine, triangle of confusion. Rhombus of terror, parabola of mystery, WHO CARES!? Get the God damn show on the road!
Tucker: Alright alright, sorry. Initiating primary commencement phase.
Donut: What're they talking about?
Caboose: Quiet Commander Pop'n'Fresh. I think they're talking about your golden flakey crust.
Cut to behind the reds, with Tucker at the top of the hill.
Tucker: Hello everyone! We're here to surrender! At this time, we would like to ask for one representative\prisoner from each group to cross sides.
Grif: Hey, I think I see Lopez over there!
Lopez: López el Pesado ya no toma órdenes de su especie. [Lopez the Heavy takes orders from your kind no more.]
Grif: Yep, it's him.
Sheila: Tell him big daddy.
Tucker: Okay, get going pinky.
Donut starts crossing back to the reds.
Caboose: Goodbye, Major Cinnamon Bun! I will always remember your buttery goodness! ...Who was that guy?
Simmons: Look, they're releasing Donut.
Sarge: Go on, Francis Ex, front 'n' center.
Lopez: ¡Un robot! ¡Quieren convertir los nuestros contra nosotros![A robot! They wish to turn our own kind against us!]
Tucker: Um, Church? Do you think maybe in hindsight it was a bad idea for us to put Lopez around a bunch of robots?
Church: Just stick to the plan, Tucker. Get the first robot over there, I'll draw Lopez's fire, come on!
Lopez arrives between Donut and Francisco Montegue Zanzibar.
Lopez: ¡No os mováis, traidor! [Don't move, traitor!]
Sarge: What does it- it's a double cross! Donut, Frankie Zane, get back here!
Tucker: (aiming at Lopez) No! Stay where you are! Do not go back!
Simmons: Now the blues are aiming at each other? What the hell's going on?
Sarge: We've been outmaneuvered, men! Take cover. I'm calling in an air strike.
Loud radio noises.
Tucker: OW, MOTHER- what the hell is that noise?
Sarge: Yeh, Red Command, come in! This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One! Do you read me?
Vic: Hello, hello, who's there. Come in, is that you Private Rayner? Hello.
Sarge: Private who? No, Vic, this is Sarge, from Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.
Vic: Oh, hey there Sarge, long time no see, sorry 'bout that I uh, anyway what can we do here for you at Red Command today?
Sarge: I'm up to my haunches in hyenas here, Vic. I need an airstrike, and I need it on the pronto!
Vic: Can do Sarge, I will send an airstrike to target the blue forces now. Course I'll need you to fax in the airstrike requisition form.
Sarge: But I can't! I had to use spare parts from our fax machine to build Simmons Two Point O.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
S2 Finale: K.I.T. B.F.F.
Start from the beginning
