The Law of Averages | Vol II

Tellin'.

The court room was silent when we finally arrived. Stopping to stare, my hand in his we walked in, knowing he would be walking away knowing he how long he would spend away from his children, career and what was left of our love.
" thank you for coming baby... I know you didn't have to... especially with"
" with everything, I'm still your wife"
" even if we get the worst news today..."
"Even then Aub-"
" I'm just sorry, Ly... no matter what happens I'm thankful for you not giving up on us"
"... I mean, we held it together this long" I could see the fear in his eyes, but only because he allowed me to. He kissed me, slowly, and just like that I felt it in my stomach again. Not just our growing baby, but the feelings I tried to deny and even kill.
" I love you, so much... and I'm sorry okay?"
" I know baby, I love you too... and i hope you remember that"

I was almost 6 months pregnant, dealing with so much hurt from how we chose to mishandle each other. Back in the car, laying in his lap as he was just as shocked as me. His arm over me as I cried and cried, then I realised he was too so tired to take my out of control hormones.
" baby... I'm sorry okay,... but ima fight it. I can't be away for 15 years..."
" you'll be 53!"
" exactly... that ain't happening I promise you"
" okay baby" Sentencing was predicted to turn around a maximum of 5 years, and he planned to negotiate that down too.
" how!?"
" they have more evidence than my lawyer knew"
" Aubrey, you gotta tell me what's going on"
" nothing is going on! It's done"
" okay... so what don't I know!?"
" a lot, but... it's for the best baby"

We were given a surrender by time of just a month, so, he would have been away when it was time to have the baby. I hated that, and over the couple of weeks following the case I started to hate him again. It was like he was mad at me, for what he chose to do in the streets. Mad at me, withdrawing from our children, and had basically tried to refuse to see Adonis until Sophie had the new baby but I made it my business to have him on the weekends. Sandi was in charge of arrangements but I spent every moment including him in the little time my husband had left with his children. 

The weekend she gave birth, we had him with us as Aubrey nervously awaited what would be the DNA test on the baby. I was busy with the babies, making dinner and painting before baths and a group bedtime story in bed with us.
" dada gonna read with us mommy?" Sienna was a daddy's girl too, wanting to be in his arms every moment she could. I felt guilty, like I had chosen a man I wouldn't ever be able to create a stable life with. If it wasn't the cheating and lying, it would now be him serving a custodial sentence away from us for far too long. I was hurt for his children, A.J his shadow and twin, his namesake and I prayed he wouldn't idolise the things the media did about his dad, Drake.

Two hours later we were arguing about the test result, and he was sure I needed to shut up and go to sleep.
" Ly, please don't fight me on this"
" Is the baby yours or not!"
" don't worry about it, like I said, she's a liar"
" Aubrey! Don't... why are you playing games!?"
" fine...no, okay!! No... it's not my fucking kid! Okay? You got that Ly... it's not my kid..."
" and the test confirmed that?"
" yes! I told you baby... she's a liar-"
" show me the paper work!?"
" no! You show me that this baby, is both of ours... show me you're not fucking on this lil actor still because I swear Ly!" I was looking at him like he was crazy, having not spoken to Damson since I called to see if he was okay. Just that one time, and he didn't want to talk to me unless it was about confirming what was what with the baby. So, I got mad and made a vow to never speak with him again.