The Law of Averages | Vol II

Hits Hard.

I had workshops throughout the week, acting coaching on intimate scenes with, Damson. Just a few days before I would have been elated by the prospect, spending time with the true love of my life. I was trying to get ready, looking back at myself in our bathroom mirror. Unrecognisable to even myself, I wondered who I was and why I was with someone who would even think of doing the things he did.

I pulled up to the set in a black Porsche, easy to zip back and fourth, windows all black like my heart now. I wondered what he was going to see when he saw me, would he be repulsed and worried about the consequence created by my tapped husband. Nothing was off limit now, there was nothing he would not do if he wanted to. I worried about him, too. Worrying about what Aubrey would do to let it be known, he crossed the line. He was secretly watching, waiting for a sign it was true, I guess he got his proof and gave out his punishments. I did a good cover job, always did that well. Making it seem like nothing was wrong, keeping my glasses on and saying I was tired. I almost got it off too, until the end of the workshop. He was taking long to leave the group behind, and asking me a lot more questions than he usually would.

" so, you coming back to mine?"
" yeah..."
" are you okay Ly?"
" I'm fine but, Damson, look we need to talk" he was looking at me with a faint smile as he approached me, reaching out as he pulled me into him. Felt like he was asking me what's wrong, and I wanted to tell him but I was scared. Not sure where Aubrey was or what he was doing, planning, planning to do. I knew him like I promised I would never let the world, knew things that would get him sentenced to multiple life sentences. I would never use things against him, since I also new his reasoning for the most part, I had a part to play as his wife but what he saw on that video was beyond anything he wanted to see or know. The last time I saw  him, he looked at me like the sight of me scarred him. He was right, he said as it unwound and the tears fell from his face onto this phone, as I was in the bathroom not knowing all that brewed back in our fettered bed. All of the things he was thinking, things that even scarred him to the point he said that, once he was standing over me telling me I killed him. Telling me he was sorry for everything, not being what he planned to me to me.

I snapped out of it, riding in my car behind Damson in his. Off to the hotel as per usual, but there is want anything usual about me or us anymore. They say people cheat all the time, but unspeakable things happen when people get caught. No one talks about that part. But, that's exactly what I wanted to talk with him about. I wanted to see how he dealt with it, because I didn't know how I was about to deal with things myself. I was afraid of the fact he might choose to walk away too, he might decide that it was all too much and we needed to chill out with trying to be anything more than friends. Getting out of car and walking over to him by the private entrance.

" come here Ly, why you still got that jacket on?" I took it off slowly, still on pain but marks hidden by a long sleeved top. He could see it in the way I approached him, and asked me if I was okay.
" listen, Aubrey knows... he was sent a video of us and he showed me it"
" okay, and did he hurt you Ly?" I looked back at him, taking off the sunglasses as he breathed out deeply.
" what the fuck! I'm sorry Ly"
" we can't do this anymore, I'm sorry Damson."
" he beat you up!! You're in danger if you stay"
" you're in danger, Damson... I know he will hurt you if this continues... he's well connected"
" I know... rising from the dead, I heard the stories about him putting hits on people but that's people gassin it"
" no, it's ... be careful please, and I love you but I can't do this..." I was crying as he held me now telling me it was okay and he wanted to take care of me.
" I can't make you divorce him, can't make you pick me but... I promise you I want what we talked about"
" I'm sorry damson"
" why!? You gotta do what's best for your kids Ly"
" I know... I'll see you for class tomorrow"
" yeah, I love you Lylee" I left in tears, feeling like a teenage girl losing her boyfriends interests, the pain felt worse with my physical injuries.

Sat in the car for a while before I got out and walked out of the lot up the steps into the back of our house. Him watching me with A.J in his arms, as I looked back through my glasses. Breathing out deeply, as I crossed paths into the living room and he told me I was late.
" sorry, where are the girls?"
" watching a film in the cinema..., sit down... here" he took my arm and sat me down as I asked for my baby.
" I missed you baby" kissing his head and brushing his curls with my fingers as his dad made our conversation of clear necessity.
" okay... let me see the girls, get them together for bed"
" okay..., look, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for hurting you baby" i broke down, having put the baby in his bouncer.  Aubrey held my face in his hands, his head against mine as he begged for forgiveness, said he was ,disgusted with himself and was not a the man he wanted to be. Tears running down his face, hands clasped into his chest as he spoke. 
" I gotta give the girls their baths..."
" okay, I'll take him... and story time"
" okay"
" then, we'll talk" I nodded and he took A.J, as I went to see my baby girls.

Two hours later we had three sleeping kids, and a lot of shit to discuss. I was covering up, until I realised he didn't really see the full extent of things because I hid it all from the kids during the day. My arms, legs and chest bruised so I couldn't see my doctor about the pregnancy yet. In the bathroom, hiding from the uncomfortable but needed words we had to exchange and express. I took a breath, turned off the bathroom lights and he saw the marks instantly. Started crying and apologised so much I just wanted him to stop l.
" It's okay"
" it's not, I fucked up and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy and our kids... I love you and I'm so sorry for everything"
" I need to see a doctor but I can't, "
" you have to make an appointment asap, Ly, if they ask just say that you had a fight" he was looking at me like I had to, and so I did.
" Sophie?"
" what about her?"
" she hasn't been at our Friday dinners, or replying to my messages.
" why?"
" you tell me Aubrey??"
" I don't know Ly... the fuck!?"
" Is she still pregnant?
" huh?!" His face was stuck on stupid, I told him that he was extra goofy as I repeated but rephrased.
" is she having your kid?"
" I'm sorry-"
" you are,... and, Aub....I will divorce you!!"
" Lyleeana, listen to me"
" why? You gonna beat me again, if I don't?"
" Ly, stop..."
" you actually did that,...to me!!" I was going off on him now. Telling him I knew about the bitches, Sophie, the man that he truly was.

" I don't deserve you anymore and I know that, Lylee... I love you so much more than holding you captive like this... if you love him then tell me that!?"
" why!? Why do I have to tell you?"
" you're my wife! You was my best friend"
" i trusted you!"
" I'm sorry!"
" get off me Aubrey, you was getting head from a bitch, on the phone to me... you're past caring!"
" but I don't love them, or Sophie"
" you are the reason I was fucking Damson,... you died, I moved on"
" you always do-"
" oh yeah, I forgot I'm a whole whore now!"
" what?! I never said that!"
" you did though! You meant it-"
" I was drunk, and angry "
" this baby,... they're the only thing we have left"
" I love you, and I'm sorry Ly"
" whatever Aubrey..."
" yeah, okay well... I'm out for the night!"
" where are you going?!"
"Just out....with the boys... I'll be back," he kissed my forehead and the next time I saw him was on IG sat alone in the cut somewhere within a strip club.