Alexithymia

Retort 1.5

Yes, you did ask me about my friends on Facebook which most of them are girls. However, it's still true that I randomly accepted/sent friend requests to anyone on there back in 2020 when I first made that account. It was so long ago that I didn't mind who my friends were there. I didn't care because all i ever use my Facebook for are memes, manhwa's and then talking to you. I don't talk to them nor do I view their stories, they were just there like accessories. I asked you to delete them yourself because I trust that you were going to do it with a good reason. I also asked you because you were already in my account, you weren't bothered by any of them? Then you could have told me who to unfriend/unfollow or even block just for it to end.

I asked you to block your friend Alex because he was being disrespectful. I saw how he talks to you before, he was nice. But then his attitude changed when you tried to off yourself? Is that really a necessary thing to do? He got mad and upset even though it already happened a long time ago? and James? I don't know any James that i asked you to block.

All i wanted was to protect you from those that do harm to you I know you didn't ask me to but I wanted to because I loved you and I didn't want you getting hurt. Either it be physical, mental or through words. I tried protecting you and it wasn't in my control who says shit about you on sayout. I asked you to just remove it from your bio but they still send messages. I unfriended anyone who I think did it based on what they posted on their wall.

Do you think I wanted harm to befall you? I didn't want any of that. If i could I'd rather be the one who they sent those messages to. Because although I'm weak emotionally I still have to be strong because I'm a man and I should protect you from things that may harm you and I didn't want you to get hurt.

I know I should've done better than I did in the past that's why I tried to change. Not just this May but months before that I changed although you didn't see it. I started getting better but it was all for naught when you didn't see it because you still see me as the me from before and I don't blame you for that. Like I told you before, you could do so much better. I'm sorry you met me. I'm sorry for the hurt that I gave you. I didn't mean any of it. I should have been better. I'm sorry but please don't devaluate the things I did just to shield you from those that only want to hurt you.