The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 98

"Is it o-okay if I give you a hug?" She eventually asked, still sounding shy and timid.

"S-sure." I nodded. I'm still quite in shock that she came here to apologize when I haven't even talked to her ever since I got here in this house.

Xiomara inched her way closer towards me and casually gave me a quick but all together calming hug. "Mom and dad already left a few minutes ago, they said they are going to organize a few things for the funeral." She revealed right after giving a hug.

"Oh, okay." I remembered my dad presented to pay for everything for my mother's funeral services and even the stuff that she left unpaid from the rehab center. I was initially about to say no to that thinking that my dad had no business in it but then I remembered my mom and I got nothing, literally nothing. Rachel seemed fine with it though and while she's the original wife, she was very much sharing her own sorrow with us.

"You haven't changed yet." She trailed off.

"Oh, yeah. I'm just about to get ready." I let out a heavy sigh, the heaviest probably since I got here. "I'm not really ready to go to the funeral but..."

"It's okay, you have to take your time, Xavier. I know this is such a heavy situation for you. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, I'll see you later."

It took me almost half an hour under the shower. It was mostly because I've been finding enough solace with the frigid sensation brought by the cold water trickling down on my skin. When I finally decided to emerge out of the shower, I immediately saw the black suit that I'm about to wear and all I could think of was how I'm going to recover from this.

How am I going to get past this unfortunate turn of events?

How am I going to miss my mom?

How am I going to continue to live?

How am I going to accept this? I still couldn't believe that my mother's gone and I certainly don't want to wake up tomorrow and still have those sentiments. Although I clearly don't have much of a choice. What has happened cannot be reversed no matter how hard you plead for it, not even if you cry out blood and regret.

I slipped in on the black suit and as I looked at my own reflection, I was nothing but a walking image of sorrow and sleeplessness. My eyes were clearly bloodshot and my skin wasn't just glowing that it seemed like a gloomy cloud was hovering above my head. I chose to put on some black pair of sunglasses just to conceal the fact that I cried so freaking hard last night.

When I got to the funeral home, I was probably the last one to show up. Apart from my dad and his wife, I saw some people that I don't recognize at all and I'm slightly confused about their presence. I know my mom doesn't have that much friends left in her life since she all drove them away and while it was evident by the empty pews, I'm glad it's not as crowded.

They've already started the program and I entered very quietly careful not to cause some attention. Principal Sanders was the one speaking on the podium giving out her very own eulogy of my mom. I'm glad that she's here still being my mother's best friend.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" Jordi asked when I joined him right at the middle pew along with his mother.

"Not well but I'm trying my best to be strong." I whispered back.

"That's nice to hear. You'll be fine, Xavier." Jordi gave me a quick hug, the smell of his scent lingered on my nose.

Aunt Zinnia reached out for my hand, gave it a gentle squeeze before eventually smiling at me. "Things will be better in time, sweetheart. Your mother's in a better place now. Somewhere safe, somewhere where there's no pain."

"Thanks, Zinnia." I felt a bit better having Jordi and his mom. They don't even know my mother but they showed up for me and that's all I need to know.

I redirected my focus towards the podium and Principal Sanders was wearing such a dramatic outfit for a funeral. I'd say she was a standout and probably just a step ahead Rachel. She was dressed in a black blazer with a plunging neckline, she had some pearls to go along with it and her black hat had a single expensive looking ostrich feather sticking out for such a sophisticated touch up. Just like me, Principal Sanders was also wearing a pair of black sunglasses probably concealing something under there. It is as if she cried so hard last night just like me. "Dayanara was not only my best friend, she's also my sister from another mother. We've been through ups and downs, highs and lows and I will say, she's such a light to be around with. Her energy brought light and joy to my life when I couldn't find it within me and I will never ever forget having a best friend and a sister within her. We might've had a few misunderstandings in the past but the sisterly love that I have for her will last longer than this short life. I will always cherish our memories together forever and always." Sanders paused and took a hard stare at my mother's photo behind her. "I love you, my dear best friend and sister. Until we meet again." Her voice was cracking up and along with that, I felt the agony of such loss. Sanders kissed her fingers and gestured towards my mother's photo before eventually stepping down from the podium letting room for the pastor to take over.

After the mass, we found ourselves in the cemetery. I haven't been here all my life and it felt truly weird that I am now here to witness my mom's burial. It was something I haven't foreseen and it was difficult to bury your own mother but it had to be done.

After they buried my mother, I stayed at her grave for a long while and along with me was Principal Sanders. We were both engulfed in utter silence and it seemed that we are taking the moment to say goodbye to her best friend and my mother.

"I'm going to miss her so much. I thought I'm going to see the day that she'll overcome her own problems. It's a shame that life's too short for the struggling." She eventually opened her mouth and spoke. We were both staring at the fresh grave the entire time. I just kept my mouth shut because I have no words to say.

This chapter of my life was abruptly closed that it almost felt like you're reading this wonderful book but then all of a sudden, the author decided to end things. But that's how life is, it is short and my mom might have not lived a best life but this brings me the opportunity to do so. I'm going to choose to live, laugh and love.

The skies eventually turned dark and just as the rain began to pour, Principal Sanders opened up her umbrella. "It pouring, I think we need to leave now."

"I'm think I'm going to have to stay for quite a moment." I replied, still plainly staring at the grave of the woman who brought life to me.

"Alright, kid." She ended up leaving me her umbrella. "I'm going to wait for you at the car."

As my eyes watched the ground get wet, my eyes began to shed a few more tears. This is the last time I'm going to be with my mom. "I love you, mom. You might not be the best mother that I ever had but you're still my mother and I still love you. I'm going to live my best life from here on out." I whispered before eventually walking away.