XAVIER ROCKWELL
"I know you've already watched the video." Jordi's voice reverberated from behind as I was pulling a clean shirt to wear. He finally decided to start the topic.
I closed my eyes, paused and took a quick breath before eventually agreeing to what he just uttered. "Yes, I did."
"I was drunk that night, Xavier. A-and I don't know what I was doing." Jordi went on pulling the I'm-drunk-and-I-didn't-know-what-I-was-doing card on me. "I gave in to the temptation and I am very... very... very sorry for what I did."
I turned around looked at him in the eye with a straight face and it's as if I wasn't affected by what he was confessing to me. I started slipping on my shirt. "Of course I know you were drunk. You're at a party. You should be drunk."
Jordi was staring at me and I don't what was going through his head because I'm not giving him any sort of emotion. "You sound like you're..."
"Like what?" I immediately cut him off knowing he's about to describe my current situation. I pulled out my undergarments and began slipping on them.
"I-I'm sorry, Xavier. I mean it. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about it as soon as I got the chance. I was just scared to lose you, babe. You're the love of my life and I just got really scared because I don't know h-how or when to say it." I could clearly hear how Jordi's voice was cracking up the void and even though a part of my soul wanted to drop the stoic act, the heartless part of me clearly had the upper hand.
"Yeah, apology accepted." I groaned out with a straight face.
Jordi was just staring deep into my eyes. "You sound like you're over it... You sound like you're not... you."
"Psh..." I scoffed into a chuckle simply shaking what he said off of my shoulder. "It's me. I haven't changed, bro. This is still me."
"Xavier..."
"What else do you want to talk about?" I asked having already felt done with this conversation. I guess part of me being done with this was because I don't want to just lose the act and be a mess.
"Are we going to fix this?" He inquired.
I paused for a while, the look on his face was genuinely asking me if we are going to settle this. I thought I was going to say something else and I did. "I mean, yeah. We've already fixed it. You came here, you apologized and I accepted your apology. That's it. Let's call it quits."
"W-what do you mean?"
"We're done." I smiled at him keeping my face straight although deep inside, I'm a mess. I don't want to cry right in front of him. I think I've cried one too many times right in front of him and this time, I shouldn't be crying. This wasn't my fault.
"No..." He exclaimed and paused before eventually shedding a tear. "T-this can't be happening, Xavier. I love you so much. You're my... life."
"Psh, come on, Jordi. Get over it."
"GET OVER IT?!" Jordi screamed out. Of course, I was also startled that I managed to say that phrase but I'd rather stand by it.
Thankfully, Tristan finally arrived. The knocking on the door was loud enough for both Jordi and I to hear.
"Oh, hold on, someone's knocking." I walked out of the room.
Before I opened the door, I had to take a moment to breathe. That conversation was inevitably intense and I was right all along. If it took way longer than that and Jordi broke down and went on his knees before me, I probably would've dropped the act. I had to be tough on the outside, that's how I learned to live. I also wanted to see Jordi feel the pain. It's not the same but at least, I'm not the only one locked down in a miserable universe.
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √
Подростковая литератураSeventeen-year-old Jordi Adkins' life became both liberating and nightmarish right after he came out of the closet. While enjoying the perks of freedom, he's also being followed by the nightmare in the form of the notorious bad boy Xavier Rockwell...