The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 72

XAVIER ROCKWELL

I would be lying if I'd say I'm not critically nervous about this upcoming thanksgiving dinner. Usually, thanksgiving dinner is a shitty dinner for me mostly because it's just me, my mom and Hector. A dinner for three shouldn't be that shitty but for the three of us, it was the shittiest that I have to suck up for years. We don't have that much food served on the table mostly because they've spent their coins on coke and weeds and that's okay, I don't usually give a fuck about them pampering their vices. The only thing that makes the dinner unpleasant was Hector's constant portrayal of his supposed alpha dominance and his unabashed display of being the so called man of the house. It was sucking all of the air in the room.

Ever since my dad announced to me that I will be going to thanksgiving dinner with his family, I haven't stopped thinking about what would happen. I had a lot of questions in mind and they're all pretty much leaning towards negative. I can't help but think like it though. Are they going to accept me with an open heart? Are they going to welcome me? Are they going to be somehow happy with a bastard son sitting with them having dinner? I didn't have much enough sleep mostly because I have been stressing over any possible outcome.

I am overwhelmed with a lot of emotions too and I know it wasn't something new to me but I just feel like this isn't what I've asked for when I signed up to giving my dad a chance of forgiveness. Apart from feeling the nerves cracking up on my body, I also felt scared and unsure of things. What if they blatantly dislike me? What if they're going to be rude towards me like most rich people towards poor people? What if they just straight out kick me out of the dinner table? It would take a whole lot of courage for me and I just don't know how to muster that.

When I woke up the next morning, I wasn't feeling much excited like I do when I'm going to school or like when I'm about to meet up with my boyfriend, Jordi. Thankfully, Muffin was there and he was more than enough to keep my sanity intact. He kept on licking my face and he seemed like he's asking me to play with him. He missed me like crazy and I love the fact that he still recognized me even after not seeing me in a very long time. Luckily, my dad didn't just bring him, he also brought his toys. I grabbed a squishy yellow ball and threw it away. Muffin was very much thrilled and he ran towards the ball eventually returning with a wagging tail. I'm very glad that I have Muffin with me right now because he's such a treat to hang out with. In this stressful times, I would rather have him than be alone. Watching Muffin wag his tail, bark a little, lick a lot and play with me actually helped with reducing all of my anxiety and fear.

After a while, I finally decided to give Jordi a call. We normally call each other every morning during weekends and I'm sure he's expecting my call. I needed to hear his voice and I feel like he's going to give me enough encouragement.

"Good morning, curlytops!" I greeted him the moment he picked up his phone.

"Hey, good morning, babe." He replied with an obvious sleepy voice and it gives my heart so much joy to hear him call me babe. It's still quite early though so I don't blame him for being sleepy.

"How was your night?"

"I slept good. What about you? Are you excited for thanksgiving?" He finally mentioned thanksgiving.

"Actually, I'm freaking out."

"Why? What's going on? My mom likes you and I'm sure my dad's going to end up liking you too." Jordi replied sounding really confused and concerned. I guess I should just tell him about my very own predicament.

"Yeah, about that. My dad came to visit and I'm afraid I'm going to have my thanksgiving dinner with him and his family."

"What? T-that sounds so sudden." I could hear the disappointment gritting in Jordi's tone.

"Yeah, after how many weeks, he finally told my existence to his wife and his wife actually wanted me to be there so... I guess I might have to attend that dinner." I paused just as Muffin handed me the squishy ball. I tossed it again and this time, I had to toss it really far so he would take his time finding it. "I'm sorry. I'm going to miss your family's thanksgiving."

"That's a total bummer." Jordi muttered and somehow, I feel bad that I can't join them for dinner. "Well, anyway, I don't think you have much of a choice. We'll have dinner next time."

"Yeah... But I'm super freaking out, babe." I laid on my bed again. Just talking to Jordi's slowly making me feel loose.

"Relax, babe. Everything will be alright." Jordi made his voice soft and it sounded like a lullaby to me.

"How do you know that?" I asked seemingly uncertain if being relaxed would take me somewhere.

"I don't. I just like to manifest things and they just happen without me actually knowing it."

"Manifest things eh?" I jumped out of the bed and eventually made my way towards the balcony, the soft breeze brushed right through my skin.

"Trust me, as long as you show kindness to them, they can't mistreat you. You will go far with kindness."

"I-I don't know about that." I shook my head with uncertainty.

"Yeah, just think about good things. Don't be extra negative about meeting your half siblings and your dad's wife. You have to manifest that the dinner will go well and it shall go well."

"Alright... I will try and manifest it."

"Listen, things will be alright, Xavier. I know it and if things don't go your way, I'm always going to be here for you." Jordi let out giving me the assurance that I somehow need from him.

"Yeah... I love you so much, Jordi. Thank you for being here."

"I love you too, babe."

After lunch, I eventually found myself buying something to wear at a random store. I had to use the credit card that my dad gave me. I don't even want to use it in the first place because I'm very much inclined to showing him that I'm not going to let him buy my forgiveness with money. However, I don't have any money on me and I need to look at least decent or presentable if I'm going to meet new people, especially people that I need to please.

When I got back from shopping, I eventually found myself looking through the mirror and I must say, I did buy some decent stuff. I look good wearing such a clean collared black shirt, I don't know the brand but I know I paid shit for it. I paired it with a pair of beige pants that made me look like a man of morals. I even had a haircut just to look decent and clean and I hope it would add something to the equation. I even bought myself a pair of shoes and I would admit, this was probably the newest shoes that I have.

As the time ticked, my nervousness tardily came back to haunt me and my thoughts. I got Muffin chasing me all over the room but I still felt like I'm not ready for this dinner. It seemed that my negative thought had already created a home inside my head. I tried to do what Jordi had told me but it seemed very impossible to think of good things and just rely on that. I'm not assured that manifesting good things will summon good outcome.

When my dad's driver came to pick me up, I was already getting uptight and disheveled. I carried Muffin with me and then got to the car. Throughout the trip, I have been trying to calm myself. I tried playing Jordi's words inside my head and somehow, it got me through the trip.

My dad came to welcome me at the parking area when we finally pulled over to this huge mansion. It was also trickling so he brought me an umbrella. Apparently, we need to walk a distance before we reach the door of his mansion.

"How are you doing son?" My dad asked me as I nervously followed his steps.

"I'm not yet ready." I replied with such honesty even though I could easily lie to him.

"You'll be fine, Xavier."

"Yeah..."

This will be the first time that my dad will introduce me to his original family, the family that he got first before he decided to marry my mother in secret. Finally, it took years for this shit to finally occur and I'm going to be honest, this boy's not yet proud of himself for making it happen. I really need to feel the situation. Although, somehow, I must give some props to my old man because he managed to keep his word this time around. I really thought he's going to keep me hidden in secret and I won't live with that.