Thoughts To Ponder

Soul

My soul still weeps,
Flooding from the sockets on my face-
Wondering why you aren't coming back.

The ring on her hand,
I sit in a crowd,
Your suit is stunning,
Her smiling is glowing,
I applaud and stand,
Smiling, head held high-

"You may now kiss the bride-"

A tear sheds,
I smile ear to ear,
It's fake.

It's fake.
I'll wake up.
It's not too late.

"I can't wait to marry you-"

"When will we be wed-"

"A toast to the joyous couple. I now pronounce you husband and wife-"

You grab her waist,
Spin her around,
Kiss her deep-

"How would you kiss me on our wedding?"
"Like this-"
The small of your hand on my back,
You dip me-

I blink, your holding hands and approach me.
I stand and plaster my smile wider and tighter.
The tears threaten to spill.
If I cry, you'll leave.
I shouldn't be here.

You get closer, her arms are hugging you so passionately.

"Dance with me like it's our first-"
"I can't dance to save my life, you know that!"
"Oh come on, you'll do fine-"

You swing her in your arms, dancing smoothly.

You finally speak to me-
"Thank you for supporting me and being here. You're a great friend."

"Yea. No probs."

"You look wonderful tonight."

"Well, it's a wedding."

Awkward silence. Per usual.

"Ahem, yes a wedding. It's a very nice one, a good first memory of many to come."

She gets up on stage, slurred and drunk-

She grabs at the karaoke mic-

"I want to announce our pregnancy!"

I stiffen.
It's too late.
I have to leave.

"How many kids do you want-"
"Two or three minis of us."
"Dogs?"
"2!"
"What would they look like-"
"My hair with your eyes! I love your eyes!!"

He smiles and grins, running up to the stage and swirling her.

Everyone is tearing up, but not for the reason I am.
I place the drink down.
I squeeze to the exit.
Get in the car.
And drive.
Drive where?
I haven't decided.

They're my roommates.

I'd rather not be home for all this.

I just drive.

Until I can't feel my body.

It's cold.

Help.

It's too late.