Thoughts To Ponder

VII

-Flashback-

"You see I dont go through your phone when you sleep! I trust you fucking enough to not be on your shit all damn day when Im not present!"

"I shouldn't feel like I have to do this shit. You litterally show off your naked body to whoever god damn ask!"

"Yea, but whats you're fucking body count?!"

"You wanna see it? Look at my fingers cause Im fucking showing you!"

"Three huh? Tch, and you've told everyone including me that Im your first!"

"Well Im not am I? With all those nudes floating about Im surprised you dont have an STD you fucking whore. In fact, where you actually raped or did you just lie to me cause you wanted sex!?"

"I was five god damn years old... The last thing I ever wanted was a grown man sticking his Dick inside me while I was drugged up with Tylenol PM! And you know what, you are my first."

"It doesn't matter. Your a whore and I have every fucking right to be in your shit. I dont even know why I still want to be with you"

"Oh is this how all your ex's felt when they caught you cheating? I sent nudes once and the dude you claim I "cheated" with was molesting me you bastard."

"You know what, why should I even fucking trust you anymore?"

"Maybe... Maybe you should have learned your lesson the first time."

¤
¤
¤
¤

I dont know why Im meeting up for lunch with him after last night. He said he wanted to "talk about some personal stuff". Like what? Who knows at this point.

I admit this much tho, we have been together 8 years and this is our first major flat tire in our life. Going to bed alone is different and having constant nightmares with no support when you get used to having a warm, loving embrace next to you.

I know we both are mad, him more in all honesty. We both have faults, and its all getting thrown about and haywire at this point.

I hope no matter what comes between us, we just glide over the bumps as we do everything else.