Dream come true

23

Isobel and I spent the day getting our nails done in Manchester and went for some lunch as kick off wasn't until 8pm but we wanted to get there a few hours early so we could have some dinner and see Leah before she got to lead out England for the first game of the tournament. England were playing Austria at Old Trafford in Manchester, as kids it was tradition that we went to watch our team Manchester United with our 2 older cousins at Old Trafford every Christmas when I was back from Australia. Being back at our home ground just felt like normal but we couldn't quite believe how many fans were here supporting the women's game it was a surreal experience and a massive step forward in supporting women in football compared to many years ago.

Due to Leah giving us family and friends tickets we were sat in the boxes at the stadium which was unbelievable. We were dressed in our England tops and Isobel in some baggy blue jeans, I opted for some cargos. We made our way inside and there she was in her England training kit and standing with 2 women. She sent me a cheeky grin as she made her way over with the 2 women she was accompanied with. "I missed you" she said as she embraced me into hug and kissed the top of my head "I only saw you a few hours ago" I laughed "so I still missed you" she said.

"Mum and holly this is claudia and Isobel, claudia's cousin"
"Lovely to meet you both" as I put my hand out to shake hands but was pulled into a loving hug by leahs mum and her cousin Holly
"Leah has told me so much about you she won't shut up honestly"
Leah hid her face into my neck from embarrassment before telling her mum stop talking
"Oh god please do tell" I said laughing finding Leah squirming in embarrassment very amusing
"Right that's my cue to leave skippers duty and all"

Leah made her exit before we all wished her good luck and we chatted with her mum and cousin for a bit before making our way to the seats Leah had got for us. Seeing Leah walk out her country sent chills through my body, her game face was on she had changed into a completely different person on the pitch compared to how much of a big softie she was off the pitch. "This is amazing" Isobel screamed as she was lathering up the experience. 16 minutes into the game Beth Mead had scored the crowd erupted drinks were flying everywhere. The end result was England 1 Austria 0. We went back inside to get one last drink and to say our goodbyes to Leah and her family.

"Im so proud of you" I said as I pulled the blonde into me
"Told you that your my good luck charm" she wrapped her arms around my waist which gave me butterflies along with a feeling of comfort
"Wind up" I laughed as I rolled my eyes at her
"Can you come stay at mine tonight I have permission this time before you go into cardiac arrest"
"Shut up you idiot, ill just let Isobel know" I jokingly smacked her across the arm

Leah made her way around everyone congratulating her as I went to find Isobel sat with Alessia Russo, Ella tone and Nakitta Paris a few of the Manchester United girls. "Congratulations girls you all played really well" I said as I sat next to Isobel. "Thank you, we best go see our family lovely meeting you both". Isobel handed me her phone showing me a picture that was taken of Leah kissing the top of my head when I arrived at the stadium before the match "look how cute" she said nudging me "send it to me". Just beneath the image I could see a comment saying 'what the fuck is she doing with Leah' and 'ew who the fuck is she' just before Isobel moved her phone away to send me the image. I felt my chest drop, I exuded myself and made an exit to the bathroom and got my phone out so I could read what people were saying and lets just say I regret doing that. There were thousands of comments attacking me and criticising me followed by nasty messages and threats, some people going to extremes of following and finding my family along with claiming I was only using Leah, weather it was for her fame, money or looks. There where positive comments. People complimenting me and supporting me but my eyes where drawn to the negative ones which made me doubtful. Each one feeling like a punch in the stomach. I quickly dried my eyes and freshened up my face as I looked in the mirror to make sure the fact I'd cried was too obvious, and went back out as people were probably wondering where I was.

Leah noticed that I had gone extremely quiet as she whispered "is everything okay" she gently stroked my arm for reassurance "yeah, just tired I might head back now" I lied so she didn't worry about me. "Ill come back with you then" I felt guilty because I was listening to people hiding behind a screen coming for me but I couldn't get the comments out of my head "no don't worry I don't want to ruin your night you should go out and celebrate, ill wait for you at the hotel" she clearly didn't buy it "stop being silly let me go say bye to everyone and we can go."

Back at the hotel Leah clearly could tell something was up because I hadn't said a word just nodded my head or hummed when she asked me something.
"clauds somethings up you know you can talk to me right" really appreciated that she was trying to comfort me and that she worried about me but even her words couldn't bring me out of my spiralling thoughts and emotions over her fan's negativity towards me
"Im just tired Leah" I tried sounding as convincing as I could turning my sadness and insecurities into tiredness which she saw right through
"This isn't going to work if were can't communicate with each other" she slightly raised her voice out of frustration which was understandable I was being a dick
"Well if you think this isn't going to work what's the point"
"You know I didn't mean it like that" I didn't. But in this moment I might of even though that I did. How was this going to work if I continued to feel like this. We aren't even dating, not officially and people have stared digging into our relationship before it's even started.
"Im going to sleep"

As I lay my head on the pillow I couldn't help but let the tears escape from my eyes I was ruining something special just because of my own thoughts, I saw Leah on her phone next to me before she put it down and had cuddled into me. In my head I knew when I woke up I was going to have to tell her what actually is going on but that was a tomorrow conversation. I was wrong.

"Clauds are you still awake" Leah whispered
"Yeah" I continued trying to hide the sadness in my voice but I didn't see the point anymore
"I have seen the comments, I'm sorry" there was a small silence before I brought myself to reply as I didn't know if I wanted Leah to know that it was having such a big effect me because it shouldn't.
"Its not your fault I don't know why I'm letting it effect me"

"You know you don't have to do this right I don't want you to have to go through what I have to, the constant trolls online I could never forgive myself if I put you into a situation you didn't want to be in"

"Le stop its just my own thoughts don't worry"
The 'I don't want you to go through what I have to' felt worse than any of the comments I'd read. I've been so cought up in my own head and didn't even think twice that she might experience this constantly.
"You promise to tell me if you ever feel like you don't want to be in this anymore because I will understand" of course I wanted to be in this. I wanted nothing else.
"I promise Le, but I don't want out for the record not now not ever"