More Than Just That

Chapter 51 : Reasons To

"Who let you in? Get the fuck out."I stated with a surprisingly collected voice.

"Well Benji was downstairs and let me in. I decided to come up and see you."

"You've seen me , haven't you? Now leave!"I said icily.

"I skipped last period in other to take the bus here Camilla and I'm not leaving until you understand how sorry I am..."

"Understand how sorry you are? For trespassing to my goddamn room and making out with my boyfriend?No shit,I understand."I bit back.

"I had no idea he was your boyfriend Camilla.I swear I would have stayed off.I feel like a bitch for everything I've caused..."

"You don't need to feel like a bitch Kaitlin.You are a bitch!"I stressed out her own words.

Hurt washed over her face and she bit her bottom lip.At that point,I wanted her to feel nothing but what I felt when I caught her kissing my boyfriend.But truthfully I was hurting and that's what made me want to hurt her too.

"Truth is old feelings came back and I missed him.I thought he might want me back.He loves someone else and he told me just that. I found it hard to believe he'd really moved on from me so quickly.Camilla I wanted non of this to happen.Old emotions came surging back and I acted on it.I swear he pushed me off after the kiss and went after you,the girl he loves.Please try and forgive me for that..."She confessed breaking into tears.

Unable to stand her tears,I walked up to her and wrapped her in a hug.Knowing that the truth of the matter was out and I had been acting like a crazed lunatic all along.Jay did once mention an ex girlfriend from his former school, that ended it.He never mentioned why they broke up though and I didn't care.I focused on our present relationship,not his past with others because I knew he loved me and nothing could ever change that.Up until now when I'd over thought everything and hadn't been patient enough to listen and understand.

Kaitlin soon broke away from the hug and after we'd gone through a bunch of wipes to clean her face and fixed her makeup ,she asked me a question which made my blood run cold.

"How's Jake holding up though? You know after Kayla and everything?"
My face paled as I stared at her with quiet eyes.

"You don't need to tell me though,I mean it's not like we're suddenly friends or something."She passionately dismissed.

"After Kayla and everything?"I repeated slowly under my breath.

"Is she back from rehab?"She asked about Jay's sister.

"She's still in France.We've video called a couple of times and she seemed great and Jay, he's...I don't know."I shrugged,the truth dawning on me.If Jay had a family history of drugs...It couldn't be possible.I shook my head dismissing the thought.But he had been showing signs. Fucks sake I even found pills in his car.

"Look Kaitlin.Thanks for the clarification and everything but I've got somewhere I'm really supposed to be."I dismissed and she nodded picking up her purse.
She left as quietly as she came and I left a few minutes later,trying to think of excusable reasons as to why Jay would have pills on him.But the truth was bitter and I had to deal with it.

***

I rang the doorbell hearing the soft tap of feet on the floor,the jiggle of the door knob and the door finally drew open.I stared silently at Jay's Mum as she offered me a smile and ushered me in.

"He just left to get me some vinegar from the supermarket.Just realized I run out of some in the middle of my salad." She laughed cheerily as I smiled at her .

"You can go up to his room and wait there if you wanna."She dismissed me with a slight wave of her hand.

"Thanks."I smiled at her moving upstairs and she nodded.

"Is everything alright with you too Camilla?"She enquired.

"He's been spacing off lately."She added.

"We had a little disagreement but were back together."I explained.

"Ahh,he sure is whipped." she laughed going back to the kitchen as I progressed upstairs, my heart hammering with uncertainty in my chest .
I made my way to Jay's room and settled on his bed.My foot got tangled with a piece of fabric and I looked down to realize it was the strap of his duffel bag.Resisting the urge  to pry,I pulled it from under his bed and settled it on my lap.It was for his own good,I convinced myself .

Taking a deep breath, I raked through the bag and finally retrieved a mint tin.I inspected its contents.Nothing but evidence he was using stared back at me.
The door knob turned and I quickly buried the tin back in his bag and shoved it back under his bed.
I loooked up at Jay as he walked in.
He looked exhausted adorned in joggers and a grey sweatshirt.
Our gazes interlocked and I stared at him for a considerable while.

"Jake, we really need to talk."I started quietly as he progressed near.He crouched down beside me and took my hands in his.

"Promise you'll tell me the truth."I asked quietly looking up at him, tears welling in my eyes.I had to stay strong,for the both of us.

"Nothing but the truth."He kissed my palms and looked up quietly at me.

"I swear I didn't mean to kiss her..."He started.

"I know Jake... it's about the pills you're taking."I announced as he looked up at me in mild confusion.

"You mean my supplements?" He shot back.

"I'm pretty sure they're performance enhancers."I stated.

"Half of the team takes them,; Jack,Robby..."Jay started.

"You're not everyone Jake.You don't need to fall in to that kind of pressure.You know what happened with your sister..."

"I'm not an addict!" He defended.

"I know Jake.Why didn't you ever tell me about her?"

"I didn't want to scare you away,I wanted to maintain that good boy image in your eyes."He quietly confessed.

"It doesn't matter Jay.I know now and I'm still with you.I'll be with you through every  shit you're going through.I love you Jake.Nothing can ever change that."I confessed ,tears threatening to fall.

"You ever wondered why I don't like breaking my Dad's No drinking policy?"

Jake shook his head and I continued.

"Well it's because A.Its illegal B.Who knows what that shit will do to my body.Same as those pills Jake.Please stop taking them.Please."I begged,bursting into a soft wave of tears.He let go of my hand and hugged me closer to himself.

"Hey,it's okay.Don't cry."He soothed softly rubbing my back.

"I'll clean myself off of it.I swear.Starting today.No more lies."He approved as I nodded, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you ." He whispered kissing my  forehead.

"I love you too."I muttered looking into his deep blue orbs.
Then I realized how bad I'd fallen for the boy in front of me.For his perfections and imperfections,for his fortes and his faults .I was reeled in nonetheless and it didn't matter how far I'd fallen.I'd landed him without as much as a care.
That's what it felt to fall and not care where you land.

The End

Author's Note

Whoooo
After two years of work and many setbacks,More Than Just That is finally over.Yep, what I started has finally drawn to a close.Thanks for all the love and support!
Love y'all Mwah.