Crimson & Clover

Advice For Tom

Once Julie finished chastising me for my reckless behavior, Tom tried unsuccessfully to get Julie to go the movies with him after work, so we headed home.

"How could you," Tom asked, as hurt as I'd ever seen him.

"Are you upset because of what I did or because of how Julie reacted?"

"Both," Tom replied.

"Grow a set of balls," I told him, "otherwise the only way you're ever going to her wedding is as her maid of honor."

Needless to say the rest of ride home was very quiet until we passed a billboard for the new movie, To Sir With Love, and Tom nearly broke down.  I guess that's the movie he planned on taking Julie to.  I wanted to see the film for a different reason. That Lulu was an awesome babe, a real cutie.

"What the heck am I doing?" Tom asked.  "I really like her and I can't do a darn thing about it.  I'm not like you Adam.  I can't just go up to a complete stranger and make her fall in love with me. Every time I see Julie I get so nervous that I swear I could puke. When she touches me, even by accident, my heart completely stops. As embarrassing as this may sound, I live for those few moments  when I can see her beautiful smile or help her with absolutely any small problem. She owns me Adam. I am fully and completely hers and the worst of it is that she doesn't want me."

"How the hell would you know! You've never even tried. I think it's because if Julie ever kissed you it would probably kill you."

Tom exhaled...."It probably would."

"But at least you would die happy," I explained.

This was the first time I had ever heard Tom speak this way.  He was acknowledging his flaws.  It was rather sad and it only proved to me how much of a wuss with women he really was, but as his friend I would have to say some useless words of encouragement that I knew full well he could never follow.

"Tom, it's like this.  The reason I can get all of these women is because I don't care about them.  You care about Julie.  I have no idea how I would act if I actually fell in love." I could sense Tom's disposition slowly improving.  "If she spends this much time with you it may be that she feels the same way.  It's always the worst when two people like each other so much that neither one of them can make the first move." I patted Tom on the back with my free hand, preparing for the grand finale.  "Now is the time to put all of your fears aside and go after the girl you want.  I've been your best friend for years.  I know more than anyone that you can do this. Besides, your not ugly.....I mean you're a good-looking guy, I suppose. So what if you're shy. I hear some girls like shy."

Tom just stared back at me with a blank look across his face and then he did the most unexpected thing of all, he started to laugh.

"You really are the king of bullshit," he told me.  "Thanks."

"Anytime, my friend," I replied, hoping that this would be the last.