Changlix - Reruns

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TW: might be a little sad, mentioning of death

p.o.v. Changbin

I watched him as he performed. His voice so deep, yet so angelic. The grace in his steps, everything looking so enchanting. His expressions so mesmerising.
The way his body moves, incredibly smooth, yet so strong and with so many different expressions. His incredible stage presence. I can't help myself, I stared at him for ages.
I heard his angelic voice hit the last tune and his body ending in the last part of the choreography.
I clapped along with the others. "That was amazing Lixie!", I heard Jisung yell besides me, as he ran to tackle Felix. "Yeah! It was perfect! When did you manage to learn all this?", Chan joined in. Hyunjin nudged me. "Come on, let's join them.", he whispered to me and I quickly nodded. I sprinted towards Felix, grabbing him and hugging him as I started spinning him around. "My little Lix got so big! That was amazing! Hyungs so proud of you!", I yelled, filled with happiness for my sunshine member.
"Yah! Thank you so much Binnie Hyung! Please put me down!", he said with giggles. "But I don't want to?", I said looking dead into his eyes. "Pretty please?", he asked and I chuckled as I let him go. I heard the others praising him aswell.
I watched him smile brightly at each of them. How can someone be so perfect?

It was only 2 weeks later when I overheard him speaking with Jisung. I knew it's rude to listen to their conversation, but just as I was about to walk away I heard my name being said. "But I'm afraid Changbinnie and Minho will kill him when they find out Sungie! What if they get too angry and end up in jail because of me? I can't let that happen!", I heard Felix say with a shaking voice. Why would I kill someone? Minho, yeah, he would, but me? "You need to tell everyone Lixie, otherwise we can't protect you! Please think about it again. I'm sure Changbin and Minho won't kill anyone. Just please tell them, they need to know.", I heard Jisung reply. What do we all need to know? I couldn't wrap my head around it. "I'll think about it Sungie. Just please, don't tell them. I will tell them one day, just please keep it a secret till then.", Felix shaking voice said. That's when I walked away. One of them would come out soon, so I shouldn't be there when they do.

A few days later we all sat together in the living area. "Now what is it, that you need to tell us Lixie?", Chan asked Felix, who apparently had requested a group meeting. "I have to tell you all something. Please don't get mad.", he said, looking at the floor. I saw Jisung holding one of Felix hands, while the other was gripping Minho, probably to keep him from running. "You know a few days back, when I was pulled out of dance practice?", Felix asked. Everyone nodded. "Well, the man who requested that was taking me to his office to talk. He started with something about me not being good enough and later on he started-", he began but was interrupted by his voice breaking. Chan immediately rushed to his side, laying his hand on Felix back. "It's okay, deep breaths okay?", I heard Chan whisper. After a few shaky breaths Felix continued. "He started coming closer to me. Then he pulled down his mask, I realised it was my Ex-boyfriend.", he revealed and I could see the smoke coming our of Minhos ears. My eyes caught Minhos and we both nodded.
I felt Hyunjin gripping my arm. "Calm down Changbin hyung. This is serious and we need to stay calm and find a solution together.", he said and I took deep breaths. Lixxies Ex wasn't exactly a nice person. While in the relationship he was the best, after Lixxie broke it off, he became a nightmare. Haunting Felix for ages, guilt tripping him.
"We'll figure something out Lix, don't worry, you won't have to meet him again.", Chan assured him and just as Chan said, it happened.
Only a week later the man was gone, missing without a trace. I knew it was Chans doing.
Felix, however was not fine at all. He had nightmares every night, barely sleeping anymore, getting thinner. I started staying with him at night, calming him when he woke up.

"Oh Lix, if you knew just how much I love you..", I whispered one night.

All of this happened 3 months in the past. Felix was good again and we were closer than ever. Once again we sat in his room, talking. "I heard you that night.", he suddenly confessed. "I love you too.", he whispered. My heart exploded when he quickly pecked my lips. My heartbeat got quicker and quicker.

Then I woke up to an annoying high tune in my ear. "What the hell?", I asked as I locked around. Hospital. How did I end up here? I looked down on where I layed. I saw a hand, following it I saw brown hair. I softly shook the person. "What is going on? Where am I and where is Felix?", I asked the person as they woke up, revealing Jeongin. "You are in hospital, you had a car crash, remember? Also, who the hell is Felix?", he replied and everything came rushing back to me.
I had a car crash on my way from the studio. Felix, however was only a dream. There was noone named Felix in my memories, except for in the dream I just had.
"But we all were in a group together! We are straykids! You, me, Chan, Minho, Hyunjin, Han, Felix and Seungmin!", I mumbled frustrated as the first tears began rolling down my cheeks. "Yeah, we are straykids, but I don't know a person named Felix. We are only 7 Hyung."
Reality came crashing down on me. I imagined Felix all this time. Tears escaped me to no end.

When I got dismissed from hospital I started searching for Felix, he must be real. He was. I stood in front of a stone. Engraved in it was the name Lee Felix. Chan standing next to me was confused but decided to not say anything.
Lee Felix and I have never met. He was the person in the car that crashed with mine. I made it, he didn't. And I fell in love with him in my dreams.

And now I have tell myself that I don't get to have you. Over and over again. I know how it ends, but I replay the whole thing.

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Don't ask me, I have no idea what this is either.
I wanted to write something and somehow this random ass, nonesense ended up being written.
I have no clue what this is and it makes absolutely no sense, but I hope you enjoy it anyways

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