If We Lasted Forever | BOOK 2 ✔️

9 | Shot

Kiara Athena Carpenter

The Devil was never me. I would never name myself that. The Devil was her. That voice in my head that would take over and control me. She was the devil. My brain.

It's no surprise my brain and I are two different people. Other people control their thoughts and their brain.

In my case it's switched. My brain controls me and my thoughts are killing me daily. At least trying to.

I don't feel normal. I know my brain is supposed to be mine but it doesn't feel like it.

It feels like I am hers. I belong to my brain and if she wants to she can kill me. Hell she has tried so many fucking times.

Do you know what it's like? Having your own brain try to kill you every chance it gets without you having enough consciousness to stop her.

Nobody understands that. Nobody I have ever met understands that. Nobody.

I can't let the gun go. It weighs me down yet gives me strength. I stare at my brothers and Luke. They seem...scared. Scared of me.

Am I scary?

I glance at my friends. Are they my friends? I don't know. Their faces are also filled with terror. I'm not that fucking scary you dramatic idiots.

Or am I?

My mind's clouded again. I can't breathe. I can't see. I have lost all of my five senses. I belong to her now. Whatever I do is what she wants me to do.

This is it. She finally won. After years. Seeing my brothers helped her win. And that is why I never went back.

Because if she wins it's over and as much as I would love to fucking die I can't. Because the part of me that belongs to Elijah doesn't let me.

If I died he would too. And he can't fucking die. I won't let him fucking die.

"Kie" Caleb whispers. I don't even know how I heard him. My friends throw him a confused look.

Luke attempts to come closer to me. "Please put it down" he says calmly. I stay silent staring at him.
As if automatically I raise the gun and point it at him as if I couldn't stop my hand.

"Kiara please put the gun down" Caleb says walking closer to me as well. It feels like the walls are caving in.

"Don't do this. Put it down" Dominic says. He is the closest to me. "Get away from me" I raise my voice as all three of them are way too close.

Elijah stays back. He knows me better.

Dominic grabs my hand trying to calm me down.

"Don't fucking touch me" I yell. Panic. All I can feel is pure panic.

My brain always does this. It keeps me under control and puts me in shitty situations and then gives me back the power. It's always so sudden and terrifying.

I don't know where I got the gun or how I ended up in this situation. Why am I pointing a gun at the guys. I don't understand.

Dominic's hand is still touching me and I hate it. I can't handle it right now. I don't want to be touched.

"Let us help" he whispers to me. He is too close.

Memories flood through my head. It's like I'm back. Back under Chad's crushing body as he whispers stuff into my ears.

This shit has never triggered me before. Why the fuck now?

"Put it down" Dominic says now grabbing me with both of his hands. Elijah's eyes widen. "Don't touch her!" he shouts probably sensing me.

"Let go. LET FUCKING GO" I yell.

a gunshot.

I can hear a gunshot. I can't breathe.

I hear people running and I feel myself dropping the gun to the floor. I look down. At my own arms.

And then in front of me. I see Dominic holding onto his shoulder as blood oozes out.

What have I done?

I choke of a sob.

My legs go weak or numb. They just stop working.

I don't understand anything anymore. I truly am a monster. An unlovable one.

Dominic Ryan Perez

Pain. I feel the bullet go through my shoulder. She shot me.

Grayson and Lorenzo run to me followed by Luke and Caleb. They keep asking me if I'm okay, one holds pressure on my wound and others just won't shut up.

All I see is her. Realization in her eyes as they meet mine. I see right through her.

She shot me because I went too far. I got too close.

I see her legs start to buckle about to give up on her.

"I'm fine! Somebody please go to her!" I try to convince them but they ignore me.

She's on the floor by now and I really want to just run to her but I can't.

I use all my strength.

"I'm fine! Go to her. GO TO HER! HELP HER!" I yell desperately and they finally listen as Caleb and Gray go to her.

Elijah beats them to it.

"Can I hold you?" he asks quickly. She gives a very slight nod and Elijah wraps his arms around her.

"I'm a monster. You're in danger Eli r-run. Fucking run please" she cries.

It confuses me a bit. This isn't her first time killing or shooting anyone. Why would she be so hysterical about shooting me?

I try to think about it but Lorenzo fixing my shoulder pains me and distracts me.

I knew Athena was mentally unwell but what the fuck was that?

It was like she was paralyzed. When she grabbed the gun. Her eyes were empty. Like when we were in the bedroom. She wasn't her.

"What the fuck is up with her" Luke mutters. "I got too close" I respond grunting a bit. "I have been close to her, she never shot me" he keeps talking.

"She felt trapped. She told me to let go and so did Elijah but I didn't listen. She didn't mean to" I say feeling all of my strength leave my body.

I was going to make it, I knew that. But was Athena?

Will she make it through the night or will the guilt kill her?

—————————————————————————
What a chapter. Btw Kie's thoughts in the beginning are literally mine. So if anybody doesn't relate, I'm sorry. I'm a fucking psycho.

Eat FOOD and drink WATER (NOT COFFEE)

Comment and vote if you want 🫶

love you!!!! <3