Deja Vu ( 2022 Version )

𝟭𝟮. 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁

 ❝ 𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃, 𝐈'𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 " 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 ", 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐔𝐒. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍'𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐑𝐔𝐍 ❞

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: ᴀꜱᴛʀᴏɴᴏᴍʏ ʙʏ ᴄᴏɴᴀɴ ɢʀᴀʏ

↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

0:12 ----|--- -4:04

｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ✱. ｡✧*.｡✰ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ✱ :｡✧*.｡✰

 It was just supposed to be your typical tuesday night- or at least typical in quarantine's estranged definition. It really was a typical tuesday night, with Mom and Aunt Louisa watching Netflix in the living room and Max listening to his Shawmilla playlist on Spotify. Meanwhile, I was facetiming both Isabel and and Angel, conversing about the good old days of the 8th grade and how zoom classes just sucked.

It was a typical tuesday night- until it wasn't. None of us dared to foresee such mortality- or at least not consciously. By all means, ignorance is bliss and we refused to accept such an intrusive reality that lied only seconds away from that phone call. The ghastly news we'd receive at 9:14 pm sharp would forevermore alter our lives, even more than before.

Oppressive thoughts on the hardware floor, as the stench of baked goods lingered. It was never a given on how everything afterwards would go downhill... Next thing you know, nothing was ever the same. I think I've made that point clearly already though. 

I recall how I completely shied away from Isabel, rarely ever conversing with her afterwards my dad's death. I refused to allow her to witness me at my lowest and instead remained vulnerable with the "new" girl right next door of my Aunt Louisa's. Sure, it was a stupid thing to do- avoiding my girlfriend and falling for someone else. May I remind you this someone didn't live worlds away from me. She was just so convenient, always there in person if I needed her to be.

It was just so tempting, to rest my head on her shoulder as if time could just freeze when it was just the 2 of us on her couch. As soon as I realized I was catching feelings for Cate, I immediately decided it was for the best to break up with Isabel. I couldn't drag her through hell if I had managed to accidentally cheat by kissing Cate or something. Fourteen year old guys aren't exactly a trustworthy, reliable source and I wouldn't dare to become infested like the rest of them. I swear, I'm not a bad guy!

Before lockdown we'd spend our days hovering around rich neighborhoods, one by one pinpointing each "aristocrat". We'd joke as we'd look, about how these said "Aristocrats" were too good for us. Sure, we could never live up to their rich, "well lived" lives. We'd highly speak of our futures, as if one day we'd be living in a big, old city and all the "Aristocrats" of Beverly Hills will continue to be mean.

Now the past withers as a tale as old as time. Little were we aware that the young love that we had don't last for life. As much as it seems that Isabel owns my heart, it's deemed as astronomy. We're two worlds apart.

All the times we rode down from Sunset and Vine to the hills on our rusted bikes, strolling right to the De La Cruz's small business Wonderstruck Cafe, or summer days hanging out by the ice cream shop in Malibu. Now they're all just moments lost in time.

It could never be like before though. I broke Isabel's heart not just once, but twice, and I'm not even a bad guy. Sure, I play the part of a bad boy who's just a toy to every girl in school. They all presume I'm some fuckboy, as my reputation proceeds me to be, but in reality I'm a closeted demisexual and a softie. Ofcourse, only Isabel knows that. I'm shocked enough she hasn't outed the real me as sweet revenge. Then again she's bi, so it's a given she wouldn't do so.