Deja Vu ( 2022 Version )

𝟱. 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝟰 𝘂

❝ 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐘 . . . 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃? ❞

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Present Day . . . 

It's a vicious crime, to forgive and forget. What good does that ever do? To put it quite plainly, it's not good for you. In an estranged, warped way, that's a real fucking legacy to leave. 

Reasonable doubt underlies in the caving perspective of the one who you demeaned to be reliable and trusting- the one who swore they'd be there, but never were.

Harry Goldwyn is guilty of moving on really easily, completely abandoning me at a time of instability. He's already got a new girl and it's only been a couple of weeks since he arrived back from England. 

All the times he led me to believe we were something- it turns out I was living a damn lie the entire time. Smitten by the version of Harry I was in love with, I was then taken for granted by the other version of him I hadn't yet met.

July 13th, 2020, I got my hopes up, to only spend the night crying on the floor of my bathroom. As if 2 years has been 2 centuries ago, he fumbles upon my presence in an affected manner. 

'Burn The House Down' by AJR blasted through the vivid living room, as both Camilla and Willow worked on their English presentation due tomorrow.

Fuck, did I zone out again? How particularly typical of me. Might as well isolate myself if I lack to frivolously live in the moment.

It was Sunday Morning, and Ash had invited me over to their house for chaos purposes. Their parents were in San Diego for some business related stuff, so ofcourse Ash couldn't leave well enough alone.

It was only supposed to be Augustine, Willow, Ash, my sister Camilla, and me. However, it seems as our peers heard of our get together through our insta stories and rushed over.

People watching, vicariously started showing up and supplying with chips and alcohol. It soon swilved into something more than a Daylight Savings Sunday.

By now, there were at least 30 other people surrounding us- and there were much more occupying the house in other rooms. Couples were getting drunk and making out everywhere- prone to fuck anytime now.

The ones that weren't were getting high with their friends, in the depths of the kitchen. Someone slightly sane started to play Ava Max, as apparently people complained that AJR songs weren't setting the mood. I love both, but it's Ash's house, so shouldn't they decide?-

I'm chaotic alright, but not like this. Augustine and I had agreed to send back Camilla and Willow back to my house. They're only 12, and an environment like this isn't something 7th graders should be witnessing.

Ofcourse, I was once 12, and nothing said between 7th graders is ever pg. Camilla however, is still really innocent, and not the swearing-dirty joke kind. She's a hopeless romantic, and obsessed with my little pony since she was 8.

I'd say that Willow is pretty chill as well- unlike her brother, James. No shade there.

That's when Harry fucking Goldwyn decided to show, and he sure wasn't alone. 

October 30th, 2019 . . .

" Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?" I deliberately question him, gazing right into his eyes. Of course, it wasn't me, but my melodramatic, musical mind reenacting lyrics from my spotify playlist.