Deja Vu ( 2022 Version )

𝟵. 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲

❝ 𝐈'𝐌 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈'𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇. 𝐈 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔. 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐈'𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐍' 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔. 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖. 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 ❞

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

【 Harry's POV 】

May 11th, 2020...

I'm finding ways to articulate the feeling I'm going through. Somewhere beneath the line of trepeditation and distress, lies my perpetual admiration for my beloved girlfriend, who only ever smothers me in affection. I only turned fourteen last December, but I just can't say that I don't love her. You know.... I think, I kinda love her.

No, I know for certain that I love her and there's no sheer doubt about it.

Even with a caring individual like Isabel, It's hard for me to communicate these thoughts that I hold. Will I ever profess it to be more than young love? Definitely not anytime soon. I don't want this feeling, I can't afford love, especially during times like these. Nevertheless, Isabel is perfect and I know that she's worth it. How could I ever walk away?

There'll be days though, in which I'll glide over through all our texts, and fathom over the past. I don't mean to belittle present times, but what can I say, to further insinuate something that's clearly become glum.

It'd be radically absurd to imply I'm having the time of my life, when no one clearly is- except maybe the socially anxious introverts, but even in their bouldering case, they'd probably prefer social interaction rather than this.

Perhaps I can be quite reticent with Isabel sometimes, but it's only because I care of what's withers so competently at stake. The cost of love, is a cost like no other. You see, something as brittle as love- you're constantly walking a fragile line- one that'll promptly shatter at any given time.

I swear, I don't mean to ryhme whatsoever. My concerns revolve around myself. Yeah, it's that 'it's not you, it's me' kind of bullshit. Feel free to sue me, because honestly, I wouldn't blame you.

What if I hit the brakes too soon- blurt out 'I love you'- and next thing you know, I'm undergoing 20 stitches in the hospital room. Eventually, Isabel will walk out and claim that she's setting me free- except when the sun comes up, it's her portrait I'm gazing upon. With love, you're truly never out of the woods.

I try to find reason to pull us apart- that including the distance and time between us. Except, that would never change my mind.

I'm no fortune teller, but I really don't think Isabel will ever find no one better- yet the visions I vandalize infer otherwise. As I mentioned, the ryhmes aren't deliberate. Maybe they're just lyrics I'm prone to seize- or they're already well recieved songs. I think I may have just referenced at least 3 songs in ONE sentence. Someone, give me a Grammy.

My point being, is It all swerves into a distinct feeling that's downright unfathomable.

Literally the most productive shit I've done all summer long is stream the After Hours album on a daily basis, and it's only because Angel won't shut up about it. My entire personality is built on my friend's favorite music and listening to it, just for the eteral sake of being a copycat.