𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ♥︎

『 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 』

requested by: @kenzsolace
theme: angst + slight fluff
ship(s): lander
au: college

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i felt dejected and full of guilt.

more certainly heartbroken.

i'm clueless, as i walked the city streets, curious of where i can go. the home in which i shared so many memories, gone.

now that i've begun to think thoroughly, maybe i was wrong. maybe calling off our almost four-year relationship was a very regrettable decision.

i felt terrible about this. and i can only imagine how luke feels right now. why did i never think about luke's thoughts on this?

i could only imagine. i knew deep down in my twisted soul that he still loved me. so much. the sympathy i feel for him after what i just put him through is too much to put into words.

clouds coated the sky. as i gazed upwards, i knew fairly well that it was soon to downpour. what i did was tremendously wrong. and things must be fixed before it could possibly worsen.

i looked back at the direction which i came from. somewhere, on another block, lived a once happy couple. thats been torn to shreds by someone who has no clue what they're doing.

i had to act. now. i turned the previous direction and started walking at a more rapid pace. the feeling of raindrops increased as seconds went by. before i knew it rain had coated me and my surroundings.

i wanted to cry. really i did. but it was quite immature and i had to stay strong and get through the situation that i caused.

eventually, after a long distance of struggle, i managed to make it home. my clothes was soaked and my mascara had been ruined. all the curtains were closed, but light could still be slightly seen. i stumbled onto the front porch which shielded me from the rainfall. my heart was pounding, my hands were shaking. anxiety filled me. but i had to do this. there was no turning back.

i managed to knock quite loudly a few times. nothing. no sense that someone was home. "god, please answer luke." i muttered under my breath. there was a few moments of silence. by every second passing, i filled more with regret.

the almost inaudible sound of footsteps came closer. the door began to unlock from the other side and it slowly opened. it was there and then that i locked eyes with luke for the first time feeling quite embarrassed and out of words.

his eyes were red and he was still crying. shit, why was i so foolish to put him through all this. he's never done anything to hurt me or our relationship. nothing.

"don't you not love me anymore. why did you come back." he whispered both through fury and unhappiness. his gaze turned to the corner of the room. "..i wanted to tell you that i'm sorry. very sorry. i screwed up and i was being fucking stupid. if you are mad at me i completely understand. you have any and every right to be upset. but, i'm just asking for your forgiveness and i wanna fix this. you don't have to forgive me now but.. if you did at any point i would be grateful." i said in a hushed tone.

he didn't say anything, all he did was let out a sigh. i wasn't feeling any sign of relief, and i was in a complete state of confusion on what to do.

i was startled by the feeling of him grabbing my arm and pulling me into the house. he closed the doors and looked me dead in the eyes. "what did i ever do, zander. tell me."

my heart shattered. of course i still loved him. but now that i've processed this, believing something you've been told about your partner without evidence isn't the smartest thing to do. "look luke, just hear me out. a girl in my class told me that you were acting, like, flirty around another woman in your calculus class."

by the looks on his face, he probably was trying to hold in laughter. either because of how stupid that lie sounded or for how i managed to give into it. "and the thing about it was she sounded super convincing and constantly reminded me of this but never proved it to me. so over time i started to believe her. and whenever you would say you're studying, i would think you were talking to this supposed person."

"i was being so foolish when i 'confronted' you and i take that all back. so i'm asking for your forgiveness and that we could make things better." i said. my gaze turned away from luke towards the living room. how dumb i was for believing all those foolish lies was quite embarrassing.

we stood there in silence before luke spoke to me. "zander, honestly, i think you didn't mean what you said and you were just not thinking clearly. don't trust what other people say about me, they do that out of jealousy. but i'm not leaving you over a misunderstanding in which you gave into a very persuasive lie." he said, somehow in a normal tone as if it was our average verbal conversation and he wasn't tremendously upset five minutes ago.

luckily, luke isn't the type of person to call things off over some mistake or small problem. and i know that he wouldn't call off a relationship he still wants to continue.

"thanks. i uh, i'm glad you understand." he smiled and nodded. "but also, if you need some time to yourself, that's completely fine. and i'm really sorry again on my stupid mistake." "okay. and it's fine. but i'll be in the bedroom for a few moments. i still need time to myself." he said, walking towards the stairs. i nodded and he left the room.

meanwhile, i wandered towards the living room, where photos of luke and i over the past decade and later were in every corner. i grinned at the images of us, how far we've come all these years. i'm glad things are getting better between us.

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word count: 1035 words