My phone lay gathering dust for a week.
The curtains in my room didn't open.
I rarely left my bed. It felt like a place where no one could touch me, where I was utterly peaceful and safe. If I left it, the demons would all swarm back.
My parents stopped telling me how often Alex knocked on the front door, begging to see me then being turned away each time. I couldn't bring myself to see him. To look in his eyes would surely be the worst pain of all.
I wanted to wonder what would happen to us, but I didn't dare to explore the possibilities, just incase they became too real to me. Just incase I found too much truth.
******
Food and drink consumed 24 hours later: nothing.
Food and drink consumed 48 hours later: an apple, one glass of water.
Food and drink consumed 60 hours later: two glasses of water.
Food and drink consumed 72 hours later: six ibuprofen, to really numb the agony for a while.
******
My hair was starting to mat in horrid clumps, rebuking the lack of use of a brush. I didn't change out of the same black t-shirt and pajama shorts, knowing that I wasn't going anywhere. Like I was mourning. Perhaps I was, without really knowing it. Mourning the fact that in my heart of hearts, I knew I was letting myself lose Alex, and not doing anything about it.
******
I slept more than I moved, escaping reality into strangely comforting dreams. Being held in a bed of cherry blossom petals. Having a song sung to me in a lilting, sweet voice. Staring out alone into the clear night sky, the moon full, the stars alive. Living in a beautiful house with the angelic little daughter I had started to regularly picture - but one detail had changed. Her eyes weren't blue anymore.
******
I didn't cry much. In fact, I didn't do anything. I just lay still, staring into space, nestled in the blankets I'd shaped around myself even when sweat drenched my forehead. I had asked to be left entirely isolated by my family, and they had listened. I hadn't spoken to anyone in days.
YOU ARE READING
Hurt People Hurt People
General FictionI couldn't stop it. Now I couldn't control it. It was like a disease let loose on my mind, and it was rapidly spreading. Layla Richard's life was uneventful and, to her, a little dull, but a renewal of old friendship leads to a blissfully memorable...
