SPECIAL - Haerin x Reader

PT. LXXIX

"I am okay with that, I want to learn any skills that will make it easier for me to navigate life," I responded.

"Great. We will just have to do some test so we can pin point where you are  on the spectrum now that you've grown up quiet a bit. Also, I'll need to know how much support you're currently getting and what your home life is like," The doctor answered.

I looked down feeling a bit sad.

"Can you tell me who you currently live with?" The doctor asked.

"I live with Yoongi Oppa and Y/n-ssi," I answered.

"And is Yoongi your brother? Who is Y/n-ssi?" The doctor asked.

"Umm.. Yoongi Oppa is... he's like an older brother... but we're not related.. and umm... Y/n-ssi... ummm... we're dating," I answered as I clenched my fists.

"Does Y/n-ssi treat you well?" The doctor asked as I began to feel my tears fall down my cheeks.

I refused to look up at The doctor. It was too painful to think that Y/n-ah did everything they could for me... and it took me this long to come see a doctor who might be able to help me be better for Y/n.

"Yes," I clenched my firsts even harder.

"Can I ask why you're upset?" The doctor suddenly asked, catching me off guard.

"I- Umm... Y/n-ssi and I recently had a horrible incident... and everyone seemed to notice that Y/n wasn't feeling well after it... but me," I tried to explain.

"Aahhh, is that why you're here now?" The doctor followed up.

"Yes," I answered.

"Can I know how you see Y/n-ssi? Like when you think of Y/n-ssi, what comes to mind?" The doctor asked.

I couldn't help but smile at the question... but soon it turned to sorrow.

"I think of Y/n's smile. I think of how Y/n-ssi always comes to find me when I am feeling unwell. I think about the silly little faces and jokes Y/n does to make me laugh. Y/n is like my own personal hero. Always there, always on time, always ready to fight, always ready to do as I ask, always knowing what I need," I spoke unconsciously.

"Is Y/n someone you love very much?" The doctor asked as I painfully smiled to myself.

"Yes, I love Y/n-ssi very much," I answered a bit hesitantly.

"I noticed you keep switching back and forth from Y/n and Y/n-ssi, do you not feel good enough for Y/n-ah?" The doctor asked.

The realization of The Doctor's words caused me to finally look up.

"Yes," I unconsciously answered.

"Why is that?" The doctor followed up.

"I don't know," I shyly answered.

"I think you do know. You just don't want to say it out loud because you think it might be true," The doctor suddenly protested.

I clenched my fists as hard as I could to try to say calm.

"How do you think Y/n sees you?" The doctor suddenly asked.

"Ummm...," I couldn't think of anything.

"Do you think Y/n loves you?" The doctor asked.

All I could do was nod.

"Do you think Y/n wants a long term relationship with you?" The doctor followed up.

I nodded, smiling a bit as I remembered when Y/n-ssi said that they want to marry me.

"It sounds to me like you have a really good family life at the moment. Yet somehow you still see yourself as a burden," The doctor spoke up again.

I nodded not really knowing what to say.

"Alright, we can work on that" The doctor assured me.

For the next few days, I visited The doctor on a daily basis. I worked as hard as I could to learn the skills I need and tried to comprehend why I behaved the way I behaved.

But for some reason.... the more I learned about myself.... the more I felt that it was best I stayed away from Y/n-ssi.

"Are you alright?" Yoongi Oppa asked as I contemplated on an important decision.

It took me a bit to respond but I finally said...

"I think I know what I need to do now."

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