A new threat

The aftermath

Y/N POV

I don't know how long we were standing in the Undercroft like that, but I was a little nervous to let go because I was suddenly very aware of the position we were in. 

I swallowed hard, hoping that Sebastian wouldn't be too weirded out by my bold move. I removed my arms from his back and slowly took a step backwards. I looked down for a bit, unsure about what to do or say.

''Are you alright?'' Sebastian asked, the tone of worry in his voice catching me by surprise. I dared to look up and saw that his eyes were scanning me thoroughly. I couldn't quite decipher the expression that was edged on his face.

''I am fine or at least I will be.'' I said in all honesty. It wasn't the first time that I relived those memories and I was afraid that it wasn't the last time either.

''I am glad. I was afraid that I might have hurt you when I abruptly broke our connection.'' He said in a low voice. 

''What do you mean? I succeeded right? I managed to block you and-''

''I am really sorry Y/N, but you didn't force me out, I did.''

I tilted my head a little. ''But I thought that you guided me back. You yelled my name and that's when I focussed on getting back to yo- to the Undercroft.'' My face heated up from the slip up. Why was I so easily embarassed in front of him?

''Hm, I guess it is possible that we both broke the connection, but there is no way to find out if that's what really happened.'' Sebastian said.

''Why did you break the connection?'' I asked curiously.

''I- I was – uhm.''

''Sebastian you can tell me. You were in my head just moments ago, I think we are well beyond the borders of trust.''

Normally I wouldn't have pressed so much, but I was eager to know why he broke the spell.

Sebastian sighed. ''I lost control because of you. I simply couldn't stand it anymore. You were tired and your spell grew weak against the killing curse. It made me feel afraid. No, not afraid, I was terrified. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

I was taken aback by his words, did he really care that much? Was I so important to him? Ofcourse I knew that we were good friends and I knew that I felt a special connection with him, but that was just my perspective. Did he feel the same way?

I then realised that I was zoning out, without giving him a reaction on what he had said earlier. ''Sebastian I did defeat Victor Rookwood in the end, if I hadn't I wouldn't be standing here.''

''I know Y/N, but in that moment all I could think about was my greatest fear. You were exhausted and his curse was getting closer to you-''

''But I am here now.'' I said interrupting his rambling. Seeing Sebastian so upset, triggered a feeling of hurt and sadness within me. I wanted to comfort him, like the way he comforted me when we embraced each other just minutes ago, but I was too afraid. I didn't want to ruin our relationship by my own desires and longings.

''I am really sorry that I've let my emotions get the better of me. I will do better next time. I promise you.''

''Sebastian we are both learning on how to do this. You don't have to apologize. Next time we will both know what to expect. I am so glad that you are willing and able to do this in the first place. Not many friends would have gone to the same lenghts to help me like you do. The Legilimency isn't easy and it will take a lot from the both of us, but as long as we got each other I am certain that we will find a way through it all.''