Chapter 106

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EZRA

I come to the apartment with the Chinese food with the smell of peanut sauce spread all over the place. The smell is stronger than the weed I smoked an hour ago, but I decided to get Rachel's favorite peanut chicken to make her feel better, I hope she does because something in me had a feeling that coming home for the holidays away from school for her wasn't a good idea but to didn't know she was home until I had to force it out of Henry and Alex.

I swear those two are Tweedle dumb and Tweedle dumber for trying to hide Rachel from me. I don't say I blame her, within the three months of knowing her, I never thought I would be staying in an apartment with the girl I love. I knew I wanted to get the hell out of here. That state that has our shitty family is filled with secrets. I think secrets getting out is like getting a random cookie out of a cookie jar. You don't know what you will get.

"Honey, I'm home," I yell out throughout the house in my stupid southern accent. I do that and it sounds like Ricky from I love Lucy. I probably watched every episode twice every Thursday with my mom when she come home after work. I set the food on the counter along with the keys, then hang up my coat and set Rachel's another suitcase next the dining table. I walk towards the bedroom with the silent creeping in and once opening the door; I will find a drinking Rachel all sinful and howl in the corner drinking a bottle she finds somewhere in the apartment.

I will be surprised if she finds one. I checked all of the cabinets to see if I stashed some liquor but there's nothing. All I ever carry with in the apartment or in my car is an old fashion bottle of whiskey or tequila. I never buy wine or beer because there are for if you want to fake drunk during a nonsense party. I walk to the bedroom, knock on the door and jingle the door handle, I forgot there's a lock, so I just tell her that I got her favorite food. I wait patiently for her to answer but there's no answer, so I go back to the kitchen to start unloading the Chinese food and set it on plates.

...

Moments later, I hear the bedroom door open and hard footsteps towards, and I see Rachel with watery eyes, and red cheek, "What's wrong?".

Rachel shakes his head, lifts up something and it's my journal, my throat feels tight like someone is choking me. My guilt is choking me up, "What are you doing with that?" I question as I point at the journal and try to take it away from, but she walks away with it, "Time after time I forced Olivia to never tell her. Even after I went to her room, and she wanted sex but all I can think of is Rachel."

"Raya? I can explain?" I take a hard swallow as slowly walking to her and trying to grab the journal, but she walks away, "Shut up," she yells, flips a couple pages over, "With sinful eyes, she tells me about her past, her own mother drowning her in a swimming pool like she drowns herself in alcohol. We come from different worlds, but family is the same world for us, yet this is a game. She still is a game to me. I will do everything, anything in my power to win this game. This goal is a simple," she chocks up and looks up at me, "Virginity,".

"How did you find that?" I calmly say as digging my nails in my hands, "Rachel?".

Rachel closes the journal, goes to the fireplace and grabs the match box, "You are a liar," she says as throws a flaming match inside and lifts the journal, "Please Rachel? Let me explain?" I beg her and stay at my place because I'm afraid she will burn the journal. Well might as well burn everything.

The journal. My cold and will be dead heart and the devil peeking through her hazel eyes, she can throw me inside the fire and watch my skin burning like my hands are from nails digging inside my fists.

"Okay," she slams the journal on the floor, make her way to the couch, and sit down, "You want to explain."

I nod yes.

"Talk now and I swear if I hear one lie, I will leave and never come back. Okay?" she demands, and I nod yes.

I don't know where to start because I never through I would to have tell her about the journal especially after everything she went through but there's not a good time when telling the love of your life that you wrote a journal about them and our relationship.

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