The Butterfly and The Moth

38

"Dahlia!" Sterling's exasperated voice called after me. "Just wait."

Once the call from Erik had settled into my skin, I grew anxious. In the worst way, I grew so anxious. The anxiety began to practically crawl through my skin. I tried not to think about it, while Sterling and I sat on his couch. I tried to watch Luna and August play, and I tried to focus on the way Sterling's hand just gently stroked my leg, but nothing helped.

As soon as Sterling's mom returned, I asked Sterling to take me home. He got a small look in his eyes when I asked him, one of hesitancy and worry. He asked me twice if I was sure, and I only nodded in response.

The drive back to Daisy's house had been silent. Sterling didn't seem to know what to say, but I didn't either. My mind was only being pulled back to Erik and his words. Why would he call me? What would he have said if Sterling wasn't there, waiting to answer him? What did he mean by his threats? Would he actually hurt Sterling?

I didn't want him to hurt Sterling. I wanted him to leave him alone. I wanted him to leave us alone.

Maybe I had to face the fact that I was just much more trouble than I was worth. He didn't deserve to be saddled with this.

I wasn't exactly sure why I didn't want to be around Sterling.I wasn't sure why I wanted to leave Luna and return to the room that only made me think about Erik more. I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I was panicking. I was panicking and my brain was telling me that I needed to be alone. All alone, so I had time to think. So I could think, and figure out what to do next.

"Dahlia," Sterling's voice became quieter as he neared me.

As soon as his car had parked in Daisy's driveway, I bolted from his car. It seemed, however, that he ran after me. Not that I really expected anything less from him, these days. Maybe, deep down, I counted on it.

I didn't turn to look back at him, I was only worried about concentrating on being able to breathe again. It seemed, as always, that Erik's presence in my mind sucked all the oxygen out of my body.

In the worst way, of course. In the very worst way, because when I realized that I couldn't breathe, I think I finally understood that I was dying.

"What's going on?" Sterling asked me as I reached the pool house.

I turned on the unlocked door knob, pulling it open. I expected it to look the way I had left it, but it seemed someone had been in here to clean. Everything was perfect; the floors were clean and spotless, my bed was made, the surfaces were dusted. I hated it.

I didn't answer him, I just stepped into the room, leaving the door open behind me. I knew he would follow me. I walked quickly over to the bed made with the mismatched blankets that Sterling had bought me, falling into it. The only thing missing was the soft, orange blanket that Sterling had taken for me.

Sterling, who had dropped my packed bag of clothes on the couch, followed me to the bed. He stood close, but not too close.

"Can you tell me what's happening, Dahlia?" He asked, this time his voice was gentle. "Why did you want to come back here?"

"I don't know," I sighed out, and though I knew it wasn't the answer he was hoping for, Sterling still seemed relieved that I had answered him at all.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked me, and I could tell he was worried about the idea. "Did I say something wrong to Erik?"

I closed my eyes as Sterling said his name, but I shook my head side to side in answer.

"Maybe you didn't want me involved, Dahlia, but I think you already know that I already was involved," Sterling told me, and for now, his words sounded more like a riddle than an explanation.