Heart Of A Fighter (Book 3): Home Is Calling

Chapter 9: What You Know

"Goslingpaw?"

The little squeaky voice of Mousekit tore the cream and brown she-cat from her thoughts. Turning her head, she saw Hailkit and Mousekit both standing patiently behind her, little tails held high in the air.

"Yes?" "Dad came by earlier and spat at us just now," Hailkit meowed tentatively. "Why did he say that Mousekit would never amount to anything?"

Goslingpaw flinched. Leave it to Stormslash to disrupt his own kits' peaceful lives.

"Well..." she winced, not knowing how to explain BlazeClan's idiotic social ranks to these two innocent kits who both hadn't seen much about their own clan's behaviour.

"It's.. the way most toms think in BlazeClan," she began. "Our ancestors decided long ago that toms belonged higher up on the ranks, fighting and hunting, and she-cats.. had to stay at the bottom and do measly jobs like healing and kitting."

"But that's stupid!" Piped up Hailkit. "Mousekit can fight as well as any tom can!" The little brown she-kit puffed up her fur before adding, "And Ripplekit can be a good healer when he grows up!"

Goslingpaw chuckled quietly. Secretly she was contemplating asking Azurestar to let her mentor Ripplekit when he grew old enough.

"Well," she began carefully. "Different cats have different ways of thinking. BlazeClan hierarchy has always been holding toms above she-cats for decades."

She flicked and ear and listlessly watched as a budding sapling began to grow at her paws. "Hearing that she-cats are treated as equals or witnessing such treatment is like culture shock to the bigoted toms in our clan."

"Bigoted?" Hailkit blinked curiously. "It's a fancy-paws word used by RoadWalkers to describe a cat that's unreasonably attached to a belief as absurd as BlazeClan's," she yawned.

That seemed to be enough to satisfy Hailkit, but Mousekit was still adamant about asking her questions. "But why are she-cats so frowned upon in BlazeClan?" She persisted.

"Mommy said that she-cats give birth and bring life to the clan by providing them with kittens. Doesn't that make us valued since without us the toms wouldn't be here?" She asked.

"Because most of the toms in BlazeClan think that's all we she-cats are good for," came a voice nearby. The three cats immediately turned to see Lichenfrost heading over with elegant strides.

Lichenfrost flicked her tail as she sat down beside Goslingpaw, her golden brown fur rippling in the light breeze that blew in their direction.

"They think she-cats are not physically capable of being strong, confident fighters and thus put us down." Her eyes flickered slightly and a faraway look was clear on her face.

"Anyway, that's not important. You both go back to your mother, let the Littlepaw rest," she added sharply, eyes clearing as she flicked her tail. Mousekit looked like she was about to protest, but the former heiress narrowed her eyes and hissed at the two kits.

Mousekit pouted, but obeyed and she and her brother trotted away, little stubby tails held high in the air. "Kits," sighed Lichenfrost. "Always so inquisitive about everything."

Her piercing gaze turned to stare at Goslingpaw, who flinched. "So, you're now Azurestar's foster child, eh?" She asked flatly. The cream and brown Littlepaw looked up at the taller she-cat in a mix of confusion and awkwardness.

"I.. I guess?" The gold-brown she-cat twitched a curled ear and yawned. "Ah. Blazeclaw must be happy his daughter is being treated right in at least some way."

She lashed her tail, before adding. "We're leaving tomorrow." "What?" Goslingpaw repeated in alarm. "You heard me. BlazeClan is leaving this RoadWalker land tomorrow to go to the Stormfast Isles."

"So soon?" She mewed in disbelief. "Yes." Lichenfrost licked a paw and grazed it delicately over her ear. "Xiera says this place is not the place to stay. Lousy hunting and constant danger."

Lichenfrost paused for a minute, before she then meowed quietly. "Look, little titter, I know I owed you this long ago and I hope it's not too late for this but.."

Goslingpaw glanced up at her in confusion as she paused. "But?" She prompted carefully. The golden brown she-cat sighed. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to pick on you just for being lower ranked than me."

Lichenfrost's eyes had dulled with the stressful days that passed, her once glimmering optics now slightly glassed over and unfocused. "Losing both my brother and father made me realise how horrible of a cat I've become because of them."

She shook her head wearily and sighed. "I yearned so much for both Beetlescar and Cougarstar's approval and love that I was willing to do anything, even hurt others. In the end I got it, but at the cost of losing respect and potential friendships too."

Goslingpaw remained silent for a moment, looking at the tall golden brown she-cat as she gazed absently into the fading sky, not willing to lock gazes with the she-cat she once tormented.

"I know a simple apology cannot take back the pain I've caused but I just wanted to let you know that I'll take full responsibility for my actions. You deserved better, and I wished I had helped you out as a fellow she-cat instead of tormenting you."

"Lichenfrost.." the cream and brown Littlepaw trailed off as the golden brown she-cat silently got to her paws and quietly treaded away.

Goslingpaw blinked as she watched her former tormentor vanish from her sight, slinking through the tall grasses and brushing past BlazeClan cats.

Silently, she knew in her heart Lichenfrost meant well when she apologised. She'd seen how much the she-cat had seemed to be mentally beating herself up since her father's death and her younger brother's humiliation and death.

Deep inside, she didn't know whether to forgive her or not. But as she debated silently with herself, a soft breeze ruffled her fur and a familiar scent wafted through her nose.

"It is best to let go of old grudges, my hatchling," the gentle voice of her father purred. "The negative thoughts will weigh you down inside; how will you learn to forgive others in the future?"

Goslingpaw breathed in deeply. "Oh, father..." she mumbled softly, her eyes half lidded. "If only I could really be as carefree in the heart as you."

"One day, my hatchling. One day." And the scent soon faded away, gone with the rest of the dying evening breeze.