A Journey that change's everything

Ch 22: Shower (part 2/2)

This image is how Macaque looks like without glamor for later on in this chapter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MACAQUES POV: "heh like if I'd believe that they care about me at all." I heard a small sniffle come from Redson. "Redson those flashbacks sound a lot like trauma responses... you poor thing." I said. As I tied his hair up in a high pony tail I created a shadow clone to rub his back for comfort. "Trauma? What do you mean I don't have trauma my parents only did that because they love me." I sighed and shook my head. I had told Redson multiple times that that's not how love works and thats not a way to show it but he didn't understand. He just simply never actually got love so I tryed to make sure I showed him a lot of it... also because I actually cared for him. "*sigh* Redson I'm not having this conversation with you again just... please understand that, that isn't love that's called manipulation but okay, but whatever just continue." I said. "Okay... but I don't really know what happened after that it all became a crying blur and then I felt pure pain. I can't remember what happened next it was just to painful but that compared to now I would definitely want to feel that pain again. the one I feel now is like death itself is creeping onto me, stabbing at me with his blade. Oh and when Noodle Boy saw me without my coat I wanted to parish away and never come back- I mean you saw when I barged in to kill that peasant girl. Why is she so careless!? Noodle Bow saw my scars because of her, I HATE HER! And then you stopped me then... then everything became blurry. What happened to me because when I woke up I had this bruise on my head- I mean I understand that I hit my head on the floor but I don't think that only the floor would do that. So please tell me." I finished up Reds pony tail and then walked over to the tub and drained the water. "Well... you hit your head and started bleeding and then....." "And then?" Redson asked. "C'mon tell me Mac. The truth can't be that bad." He looked so sure about that but little did he know that it was bad REALLY BAD. "Well... um... then your mother started hitting you in the head with her foot, yelling at you to stop crying but I stopped her and took you to the healing room." I said as I sat down on the rim of the tub and excused my clone. It poofed away the second I snapped my fingers. "Oh.. I guess that describes why my head hurts so badly..." "Red you okay? You sound kinda sad with that news." I asked looking at him, Red turned around and looked at me. His hair and some of his body was sparking flames. "Don't worry I'm fine, it's nothing new!" I gave him a sour face. "It's okay to cry Redson. When you're with me you never have to hold it in." I assured him. It looked like tears were building up in his eyes. "There was this time when I was dreaming and everything was darkness but me and this other person. He called himself Little Redson. He was nice at first but then it said I did a bad thing by helping Noodle Boy with his problems. And that my father was right and that I was a failure, then little Redson turned into my father and acted like him. I stood up to him and he beat me up- but that's not all it made fun of me it... it told me so many painful things -hic- that I never wanted to hear again and I stood up to him then it turned into me and made fun me and I-I turned into a flame and I burned everything. It made me live through my worst fears a-and the worst part was I was alone for the whole thing -sob- again... I'm realizing it's getting bad again and I don't know how to hide it anymore. I-I'm struggling so much and I'm destroying all of my relationships because of it. I'm p-pushing people away, I don't even know if I'm comfortable with telling Mother if I love her -hic- I don't want to hurt people anymore t-than I have. I'm afraid b-but I shouldn't be a Prince isn't meant to cry or be scared j-just like my parents told me... I'm not living up to there expectations and I hope one day they realize how hard I actually tried to make things work between us-" I couldn't let him continue I was gonna start crying if he did. I hugged him tightly and all the tears he was holding onto all burst out. Redson started sobbing on my shoulder, hugging me back. "It's always my fault. I think everything that goes wrong is my fault, I HATE MYSELF! -hic- I hate myself so much to the way I look to the way I act. I truly do hate myself. I put peoples needs before mine I don't even care about myself- not even all of the people on this jet care a-about me. Why... w-why do I do this M-Macaque I'm starting to give up -hic- so f-fast I-I don't want to be here anymore I really want to kill mysel-" "NO REDSON DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT! We all care about you very very much! And even if they don't I DO!!" I cryed hugging him tighter, rubbing his back. I had seen him try to kill himself 3 or 4 times before I would cry and sob, screaming at him when he was unconscious in the bathroom with a bunch of pills in his hands and mouth or a knife in his stomach. He's to young for this... it broke my heart every single time, It broke my heart seeing his blood pooled on the floor around him, it broke my heart seeing his passed out face with a smile when he tryed to kill himself, it broke my heart knowing he was suicidal at such a young age, it broke my heart knowing he had abandoned issues, trauma responses, panic attacks, mental breakdowns, a panic disorder, manipulative parents, It broke my heart knowing that he had no idea about all the disorders he had. And I'm not just diagnosing him myself I normally take him to a place in hell were we have a doctor for that kind of stuff- let's just say I stole a few of the books there and learned more about it since he wasn't the only one diagnosed with problems. I also have some of those Redson has but the only difference is that I know I have these Redson just thinks that this is normal. IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT HE THINKS THAT IT'S NORMAL!, that he had so many scars from self harm and not just from his parents, it breaks my heart just seeing him with such horrible parents! He deserved so much more than that and I want to give it all to him. "You can't say that kind of stuff even if your parents don't care about you once again I DO! Your brilliant your talente-" I got pushed away by Redson, I didn't really get pushed far but I was still surprised. Redson got up and almost fell, I could see him shaking violently. "NO STOP SAYING THAT! I'M NOT TALENTED OR SMART OR ANYTHING VALUABLE SO STOP SAYING I AM! I DESERVE ALL OF THIS! I FAIL EVERY ONE ESPECIALLY MY PARENTS IT'S JUST LIKE THEY SAID IT'S ALWAYS MY FAULT! M-Macaque you should stop h-helping me I'm a MONSTER! Get a good look at me! Do you really want to stick with such a depressing failure? Such a horrifying monster!?" Redson yelled looking in the mirror with rivers of tears and sobs. I wiped my tears and sighed. I walked up to him and stood next to him. I looked at him through the shattered mirror as well. "Well forgive me but I think you need better glasses because I see a strong, talented, the most talented kid ever." I said giving a small smile at him. "Tsk your just saying that to make stop crying." Redson grumbled wiping his tears away. "What? Redson you ARE the BEST. I promised you that I wouldn't laugh or joke about this, I'm serious you really are brave. You know your.... well not the best right now and your being strong by trying not to cry, and you're standing- barely but your doing it! If you asked me that's some strength you got there. Oh and don't get me started on your scars. You look so cool with your scars it just shows how strong you actually are. I wish my scars would look that cool..." I frowned saying that last part. Redson started to lean on the sink- probably because he couldn't stand anymore. "No way you'd look so much cooler than me." Redson admitted, wiping the last of his tears and snot away. "Oh really?" I removed my glamor and almost instantly regretted it. 'WHAT AM I THINKING I TOOK MY GLAMOR OFF JUST TO PROVE A POINT!? STUPID!' I blushed Madly. "W-wait don't look at me!" I blushed more as the fire demons eyes looked at me in awe. "Woah Maca-" "I SAID DON'T LOOK AT MEE!!" I covered my face and went into my shadow portal. "MACAQUE NO! Don't hide! I think you looked nice!" Redson assured looking around the room probably for me. I stayed hidden blushing a dark dark shade of red, I could feel my face burning as well as my ears. "Forget what you saw Redson UGH! I can't believe I just did that! I haven't showed anyone how I looked like without glamor in YEARS AND I JUST TOOK IT OFF TO PROVE A POINT? OH MY CELESTIAL REALM I'M SO DAMN FUCKING STUPID!" I yelled at myself knowing Redson could hear me. "Macaque your not stupid or ugly so come out WITHOUT your glamor on... please? You saw how I looked like without my coat and my hair down. I trusted you now you gotta trust in me." He muttered. I stayed quite. 'C'mon Macaque! He won't judge you- besides you know how much his scars mean to him you gotta trust him... just like he did with me. He's a good kid he'll never betray you not like other people would.' I sat in the shadows for a few more minutes before I sighed and nervously came out fidgeting with my white and black furred tail. I didn't dare look up from it, I didn't want to see Redson face. "Wow..." I felt my heart start pounding in my chest. I was so damn scared about what he would say, after all I had only shown one other person how I looked like without glamor... I felt my chest start tighten. "Hehe... I know I'm ugly-" " YOUR SO DAMN HANDSOME!" Redson yelled. I looked up at him to see sparkles in his eyes. The price leaped at me again and laughed as he hugged me tight before he backed off and sat up on the sink. "WOW JUST WOW! YOU LOOK AMAZING YOU SHOULD WEAR YOUR GLAMOR LESS!" Redson giggled. "AND OMG I LOVE YOUR HAIR LEMME TOUCH IT!" Redson did the grabby grabby motion with his hands singling that he wanted me to come closer. I walked up to him and leaned down so he could touch my hair and he did just that. "WOW TWO DIFFERENT COLORS!? SO COOL, IT'S SO SOFT AND WARM I LOVE IT AND *le gasp!*" He grabbed my face and lifted it up so he could see it. "YOU SAID YOUR EYE SCAR WAS UGLY! YOU LOOK LIKE A TRUE WARRIOR! CAN I TOUCH IT?" I looked into his fiery eyes that were filled with excitement and nodded. His hand slowly grazed the huge scar on my eye, I flinched as he did so. I felt tears sting my eyes and I tryed hard not to push his hand away. Let's just say that I'm a little traumatized when people touch my right eye it brings back really bad memories...But don't get me wrong I was super happy that Redson wasn't making fun of me, he wasn't even asking why I had so many scars or why my fur was two different colors. Tears slipped from my left eye and I started shaking. I felt his hand get off and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. "You okay Mac? Did I hurt you?" I shook my head. "No it's fine I but I think that's enough touching for one day." I said backing up. "I respect that- OMG YOUR TAIL IS ALSO BLACK AND WHITE!" I flinched at his yells and I think he realized this because he got more quite. "What about my tail?... Is it ugly?" I quickly hid my tail behind me in fear of being made fun of. "WHAT? No! Macaque it's so beautiful and it looks so fluffyyyy. I know you said that no more touching but C'MON! If I don't touch your I'll never see life the same." Red begged. 'He isn't making fun of me... and he's being so kind...' I couldn't help but feel my tail wag. "Um... well I'll let you touch my ears, even though you always see them. It's just that...my tail is kind of sensitive sooo..." "Yeah that's fine *GASP* WAIT WAIT WAIT YOUR LETTING ME TOUCH YOUR EARS!?" I nodded. This was a huge deal because I only ever let a few people touch my ears and if you one of the few people that means I we have a good bond and I deeply trust you. Which also means you have earned my respect. I think this was the second time Redson was going to touch my ears I don't really remember. I walked up to him again and gave a nervous chuckle. "Okay now if you don't remember I have a few rules. Number one no yelling, when I'm this close to someone it really hurts when someone yells so you gotta whisper when you talk or just don't talk at all." Redson nodded. "And the last rule-" "theres only two rules?" Redson whispered but to me he was still loud and clear. "Duh it's not like I'm going to have a whole list but were off topic. My ears are the more sensitive than my tail, the last rule is that you can't hardly tug or rub my ears because it gets me horny got it?" Redsons face flushed. "Wow that was... bold but I got it." Redson said as he slowly lifted his hands up to my ears and touched them. "There just as soft and warm as your hair." Redson said self subconsciously. He started rubbing small circles on my ears and I instantly leaned into the touch. I felt my tail start wagging and I instantly purred, I wasn't as embarrassed to pur anymore so I just let it out. It felt so nice and I never wanted it to stop... I can't really describe the feeling but it was a good one. A lopsided smile formed on my lips as Redson continued; I was getting lost in the feeling. "Wow you weren't kidding when you said your ears were sensitive." Redson whispered. I opened my eye and looked at his. "Oh you have no idea." I purred, closing my one working eye. "See you are handsome I don't know why you even wear glamor your so much cooler without your glamor- no offense." "None taken." I heard Redson chuckle. "Are you crying?" Indeed I was, I was getting sentimental with all of these compliments, I have always hated the way I looked without my glamor but this kid; this fire prince thought I was the most beautiful thing in the world. I blinked my tears away and cleared my throat. "Of course I'm not but... do you mean all of that- I mean all of the stuff you said. Your not just saying that to make me happy, right?" Redson removed his hands off my ears and gave me a smile. "Of course I mean all of that. You look so cool, much much more handsome then me!" I backed up, away from him and cover my now rosey red cheeks with my scarf. "Thanks for that... but let's get out of here, the others probably think were taking a big fat dump together." "Eww! Don't call it that!" Redson gagged, giving me a playful shove. I laughed and almost dropped the scarf that was hiding my ruby red face. "Okay okay but seriously let's get out of here before we step on glass." I muffled through my scarf. Redson jumped down off the sink and wrapped a arm around me. "What are you doing?" I questioned looking at him. "Waiting for you to use your shadow portals so we don't have to walk." I froze for a second until the realization hit me; I had shadow portals. "OH YEAH." I put on my glamor and shadow portaled us to where the others were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a lot of fluff in this chapter... Hmm I'm realizing that Redson and Macaque have a father and son kind of relationship... I wonder if something's going to happen with that 😈... UNTIL NEXT TIME MY SILLY BILLY'S! (Btw yall gonna be so happy when you see what the next chapter is)