PICS and IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

31. The Choice

Mostly our dates are after his practices, because he gets to start classes late next day.

No matter how many times I'd told him to rest up after practice he refuses and takes me out.

But today he asked we hang out at his place.

So I'm with Frank and we have a cozy time on the couch in front of a running TV.

By cozy, I mean some skinship and kisses. However, when his hand slips under my top I get a little shy and anxious, so I stop his hand.

He looks at me. "Not yet?" He says. I shake my head. He gives a gentle smile and says, "When you're ready then."

I melt into his embrace and gain some confidence in myself to talk to him freely.

When we rest up, watching the TV, after our PG 13+ make out, I say, "One day when I was tidying up your desk I saw a hair band."

Suddenly he takes his arm off of my shoulder and faces me. I face him. He's not smiling.

On the contrary he looks upset. "So?" He asks.

Somehow that one word is enough for me to realize I'd just made him mad. Is it that wrong to ask about the hair band?

"No, I was just..." I start, not knowing how to end.

"You thought a girl was in my room who I was seeing behind your back?" He says.

"No, it's not like that. I just thoug-"

"Thought it was Bianca's? You don't trust me, do you?"

"I do trust you!"

Frank lets go of me and stands up. "You know how ironic it is that you are the one who suspects me when it should be the other way around?"

Why do I feel like I suddenly don't know who this Frank standing in front of me is? Frank would never talk to me like this.

"What do you mean?" I say.

"Don't pretend you don't know what I mean. You keep those kittens at Raylan's place, visiting his room whenever you want. And that day at the beach, Tony just rushed in to save the day when you were in trouble."

I stand up, too. "What are you talking about?" I say, unable to process what he's saying. Has he been misunderstanding everything with me and the boys? Or was it me who was insensitive to Frank and didn't pay attention to something like this?

"I've known them since we were kids. We just live in the same neighborhood and go to the same school," I say.

"That's right. Must be really convenient to have two guys next door whenever you need them."

Before I lash out on him and end up saying something I'll regret I decide to leave first. "We're done for today," I say and turn around.

But he grabs my hand and pushes me back to the couch and starts kissing me.

I hate this.

"Get the fuck off me," I say, pushing him down. He falls to the floor. I leave before he could get up.

I try not to cry as I drive to my home.

I don't understand. How could so much have happened in a matter of minutes? We were fine, more than fine, just a moment ago, and suddenly it was like the Pandora's box was open.

I park the car in front of my home, and when I get out I bump into Tony who was heading to Raylan's home.

Just as soon as I see Tony's face, the floodgates open. "Hey," Tony rushes over and puts his arms around me, "Are you hurt?"

"No," I say in midst of my crying.

"Is it Frank?" He says, and I can tell he sounds angry. I'm not sure if I should talk about Frank with him, but I don't want to let go of Tony yet.

After I calm down, we sit on the shallow stairs next to the pavement.

"What happened?" Tony says.

"I got into an argument with Frank," I say.

"What about?"

"I found a hair band in his room. When I asked about it, he got upset saying I didn't trust him."

"Do you trust him?" Tony says.

I look at him and frown and shake my head. "Am I a bad girlfriend?"

"I wouldn't say that. What makes you doubt in him?"

I tell him about Frank's ex girlfriend. "I shouldn't have asked him to stop being friends with her," I add, "Maybe that's why he's upset."

"I don't think it's wrong of you to want something like that," Tony says.

"But then he... he..." I trail away.

"He doesn't want you to be friends with other guys either," Tony says, "Me, for instance."

I look at him with wide eyes.

He chuckles. "That day, he seemed pretty upset when I came over to help you guys."

"He was? But... he seemed fine with it. Even thankful."

"That's why I said I don't like that guy. He seems to put up a show with you when he actually feels something else. I don't know if that's something you can handle."

"But it's not like I've been an open book with him either," I say. I feel like karma is getting back at me.

"Yeah, I know. Look, I'm not saying either of you is wrong or right. But you can't have it all. What if he asks you to stop seeing me and Raylan?"

"That's ridiculous."

"What if he feels the same about him and Bianca and wants to be friends with her again?"

"That's also ridiculous."

Tony laughs and gets up. "Like I said, you can't have it all. I'm afraid there's only one guy who can put up with all your selfish requests. Want to take our Raylan in as your boyfriend then?"

"Yeah, and I also would like to become the president of the United States."

"One thing at a time," Tony says and starts to walk away. He pauses for a moment and turns back to me. "So that's all it was?" Tony says, "An argument? Nothing else happened?"

The scene of Frank forcing himself on me flashes before me for a second. "What do you mean?" I say.

"Nothing," Tony says and leaves.

I don't want Tony to misunderstand Frank. I don't want to misunderstand Frank myself.

I don't want to be misunderstood either. Was I inconsiderate towards Frank? And... I look at Tony who has reached Raylan's house. Am I being inconsiderate to Tony and Raylan, too?

I just did everything for fun. Did I go too far?

End of chapter

A/N - Catchu tomorru :)