All I want is YOU! 💋 ( FIVE)

Why didn't i take the time ?

**A few minutes later maya comes back and peeps her head against the wall..Maya was looking at her wife with " I'm not sure it's a good idea to go to work even if it's home births" look**
Carina: whaaaaaattttt
Maya: i think you should honour your whole sabbatical baby, cause you went through a very traumatic experience not that long ago and you must rest..

**Carina knew her wife was right so she agreed...**
Fineeeeee,  But I have THREE patientS who ARE about to pop, and I told THEM I would be there to deliver THEIR babies I promised THEM. 
Maya: okay, that's the only three I will allow you to assist...
Carina: thank you.. owwwww,
Maya: what's wrong baby?
Carina: Londyn fell asleep on my forearm and now it hurts because she is heavy.... Can you please come pick her up?
Maya: yeah of course...
Carina: thank you.... ** she now wiggles her arms to get the blood to re circulate in her arms **

Carina: like I was saying, the shooting at the hospital just made my " sabbatical" even more legit because I'm terrified of going back to work, I don't want to always look over my shoulder every time I'm with a labouring momma who she needs me to be a thousand percent there with her, and not having my mind going a gazillion miles per hour, ** she took several deep breath's in and out ** I will honour my full sabbatical babe,
Maya: yea I know, that's why Stefania will help you get over your trauma, babe, it's okay, I just don't want you to overdo it too much, take it day by day,
I'm here for you,  we can live on one salary my love, don't worry about it,
Carina: okay thank you! ** she had more tears coming down her beautiful  brown eyes, Maya whipped her tears away from her wife's eyes **

—————————————————
16h36
**Carina has been playing with her little one year old daughter for the past three hours, after she had fed her mashed potatoes and vegetables, she then slowly begins to feel an extremely amount of guilt coming up building in her chest, **

Maaaaaaaayyyaaaaaaaaaaa !
Maya: what babe? Everything alright?
Carina: noooooooooo, **she said in between sobs **
Maya: what is wrong babe, tell me please!
Carina: why haven't I taken the time to with our previous children to do what I diiiiiiiid with Londyn all daaaaaaaaaay!
Maya: you mean play with her all day?
Carina: siiiiii, I feel horrible because our older kids are going to come back home from school in a few minutes and see me on the floor playing with their youngest sister, and they know I never took the time to do things like this with them , I don't——-
Maya: hey hey , shhhhhh it's going to be okay, you did do that when they were really really young , they were all a year old like Londyn is , you don't remember that because it's been so long babe,
Carina: wait really?
Maya: yes , i remember, and if you want now that you are on a full sabbatical from work you can do things with each kid , whether it's helping with homework, playing their favourite sports, play your musical instruments with Chloe and Violet. You are an amazing piano player babe, and it's been a while since you haven't touched your piano, . They are going to love doing these things with you my love, don't feel bad about it, it's completely normal to do things with your last baby ever, that you couldn't do with Chloe, or after Chloe, you wanted to do this with the twins too but you had Chloe and Lorenzo who also needed you for things here and there, I know Lorenzo has a soccer game tonight, I was going to go with him but I think you should go !
Carina: okay, yeah I would love to , thank youuu for reassuring me that I'm not a bad momma !
Maya: anytime,

17h29
Carina: okay Lorenzo, come on we have to go , your game is about to start!
Lorenzo: ohhh okay,
Carina : what ? What's wrong?
Lorenzo: nothing, I thought mommy was coming, that's all,
Carina: ohhh , yea I know you are all used to it being mommy coming with you to your after school curriculum activities, but I'll be going to go to each of yours this week,
Lorenzo: yayyyy, im glad you are coming momma,
** Although he is 13 years old he gave his momma a big hug and kisses, while he readjusted his soccer bag on his shoulders **

Carina: be nice guys!

20h29
**Carina and Lorenzo came back home from the soccer game, Lorenzo was super duper happy that his momma came to his soccer game even though she doesn't know much about sports in general, but he knew that she was trying her best to be there for him and his siblings **

Lorenzo: I had fun momma, thank youuu for coming to my soccer game, I really really appreciate it, I love you momma!
** As the pair were entering the house **
Carina: thank youuu, I had fun too, go get a shower and get ready for bed okay!
Lorenzo : yesss momma!
Maya: hi buddy!
Lorenzo; hi mommy!
Maya: don't make too much noise please, your siblings are sleeping
Lorenzo: got it, I'll be real quick!

**Carina came in the living room and sat down on the couch next to her wife who has a sleeping Londyn on her bare chest **

Carina: what's going on here? ** she whispered and slightly turned her head down **
Maya: ohhh she was throwing a tantrum cause she wanted you, so I took off my bra and shirt so she could feel the warmth of my body against hers!
Carina: ahhh , okay, so how were the kids? They weren't too much trouble right?
Maya: nooo, they were absolute angels !
Carina: that's good! Ouhhhh I am exhausted ! Let's go in our bed , si???
Maya: yes , I was drifting away to sleep too!
Carina: okay!

** They both went to Londyn's room and gave her good night kisses, Carina went to each of the other kids's room and gave them good night kisses too and went to her bed , and said good night to maya and went to sleep immediately . Maya also drifted off to sleep soon after **