Overlooked-Tommyinnit

Part 1

Tw: Self harm, overworking, anxiety, panic attack

Tommy POV

My clock reached 5:00am and my alarm went off. I groaned as I sat up and started getting dressed into my school uniform and placing a rubber band on my wrist.
"I hate this." I said to myself as I walked downstairs and grabbed a cup of coffee, soon my dad came downstairs.

"Morning" I said to my dad.
"Morning, any tests in school?" My dad said.
Of course, all he cared about is how well I did in school.
"yeah, maths." I replied blankly,
"Kay,  do good, be like your-" my dad said before I cut him off.
"brothers." I said, before standing up and grabbing my backpack, soon I was out of the house. I was heading to the bus stop. My bus was running late.

"Oh no..please..no" I said panicking because my first class was maths. If you're late that's an immediate F. My breathing picked up and I started snapping the rubberband on my wrists.
I looked down at my phone 6:14am. My bus is 6 minutes late. This made me spiral into more a panicking state, soon I found myself crying.
"not here, I need to suck it up. Be like Techno." I said to myself before wiping the warm tears away from my cheeks.

My bus arrived and I got on.
"I might make it in time." I thought to myself. 

-time skip arrival into the school 7:00am-

I rushed into my math class, sitting down.
I felt something hit my back, it was a small paper ball.
I opened up the small ball.
"Freak lol, kys" it said.

I quickly rolled it back into a ball, and put it into my backpack. Moments later the teacher stepped into the room and handed me and everyone else the test.

I looked down at my paper, realizing that I know most of the things on here. I was bouncing my leg and occasionally snapping the rubber band on my wrist, in order to keep my mind at ease, worry free.

Before I knew it I finished my test, I handed it in.
"Goodjob Thomas." My teacher said. The name Thomas making my shiver. I hate being called Thomas.

"GoOdJoB tHoMaS" I heard Nick mimic the teacher. These were really small actions, but it made me feel bad, mostly because of constantly being picked on.

What did I do to be hated out?
What did I do to others?
What did I ever do wrong?
I get good grades, I don't get in trouble, yet I'm still not good enough.

The bullying I got in school got worse and worse each week,at first it was some mean comments, then it was physical, then it was both. 

I just wanna be good enough for someone once, my teacher are quite impressed with my achievements in school. I have straight A's I've never gotten a B before. I was always called the "gifted kid" by my teachers.

After math class was finished, I headed to biology.
"Pop quiz time!" My teacher yelled.

I didn't study..I don't know what to do.
My mind was racing, I barely registered that my teacher placed the quiz in front of me.

I look down on the paper
What the fuck is this...
I didn't study. I'm gonna fail, why didn't I study biology yesterday..I planned to but I went to sleep instead.
I'm a failure

I was just staring at my paper, without writing anything on it, until I heard one of my classmates say "the gifted kid isn't as gifted now?" Before the whole class burst out laughing.

I wanted to cry, I started snapping the rubber band on my wrist harder, hoping it'll ease something in my brain. Technically pain in my body quieted the pain in my head. It gave me a moment of peace.

-after school 4:30pm-

I was finally home. I walked inside realizing that my father is home.
"I'm home, going upstairs to study" I yelled while walking into my room.
I heard a Ding come from my phone, I look down and see it's from the app my school uses to grade us.

Math A
Biology F

I started sobbing, pulling my knees up to my chest, everything felt so heavy, my hands were trembling and my thoughts were racing.

Why didn't I study?
Why did I sleep?
I wouldn't have failed then
I'm such a failure. I cant Even make my parents proud
How will dad react?
I'm so tired.
I need to study still
I have to rewrite this
I cant have an F

I snapped out of my thoughts, when I heard my door start to open, I quickly wiped my tears away and looked who came inside.

It was dad

"I'm sorry I can explain!" I said, seeing his angry face.
"Explain what? That you couldn't even study for a simple fucking subject like biology?! That's the easiest!" My dad yelled, he started coming towards me.
"I'm sorry, I swear I'll do better.." I replied, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.
"you're so worthless!! Why can't you be like your brothers ?! None of them got an F especially not from biology!" My Dad yelled even louder, before I felt something touch my cheek.

He slapped me.

He exited my room afterwards, I just sat there blankly.

I'm worthless.
I'm a waste of time.
Suck it up Tommy. Go study

I got out my books, I started studying, taking notes, highliting the important parts, reading through countless of pages. I studied everything I needed to, I even went ahead!

I didn't know how much time it took me, before I looked up to my clock and saw it read 4:30am.

Fuck.

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1st chapter is done :)