365 {cake/discontinued}

61 {your note}

GUys can you make me suuper happy and follow me on Spotify? (mostly so I can creep on what you listen to too lmao)

mine is thatfangirlingfreak and I will definitely follow everyone back bc I'm a stalker
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I should've entitled this your novel, because that note you left was so long.

I didn't ask you to do it, but maybe you just wanted me to have some sort of closure, in a way.

Well not closure-okay, I'm fucking up. Sorry. Here.

After lying on your side of the bed for 2 hours, I get up and slowly make my way to the kitchen.

I'm not crying, having drained my body of tears, but my eyes burn and my cheeks are wet.

There's a stapled set of papers lying on our dining table, and I am immediately confused.

I pick them up, and begin reading the first page.

Dear Luke,

Hi babe. You might be confused as to why I'm writing this.

I just want you to know that I know why you don't actually want to come with me on tour.

Ashton told me, sorry. It's a stupid reason, but I get it. If the roles were reversed I'd do the same.

You don't want to hold me back, be a burden. Majority of your life is in Aus. I understand.

I thought I'd be a bigger part of your life, but I'm clearly not.

Just kidding, that makes me sound like an asshoLE NOOOO

Anyways. I just wanted to let you know that no matter the distance between us, I'll love you.

You're probably afraid of me meeting new people on tour, but Luke, I don't think you know how deeply I feel for you.

Love isn't a fragile thing. It's not just a word you throw around.

I love you so fucking much, Lukey. I hope you trust me, I don't want you to be heartbroken over any rumors or tabloids.

Breaking your heart is my worst nightmare, making you sad haunts me.

The thought of you in tears hurts.

You probably are already, because I'm gone.

But I want to be next to you just as badly.

Goddammit, as I write this, I just want to cry and hold you.

I never want to leave you, but I want to pursue my dreams...

I hate every second of this torture.

There's a lot more to that letter, things I cried over more than once.

I'm trying so hard to trust you, but I just can't compare to the people you see daily.

Those fans of yours are flawless, and in the palm of your hand.

I'm just...second to them. And it cuts like a knife.

Why didn't I just fucking come with you?!

I care about my job, my family. But I would give it all up to have you with me.

And it terrifies me, that I can give all that up just for you.

But fuck, I want to.
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I made my fan acc insta into an aesthetic-y photography one bc I wanted to (follow me @ nightsftyou)

THIS IS ALL ONE GIANT SELF PROMO BYE