365 {cake/discontinued}

30 {your crying}

gET READY FOR SOMETHING SAD but hopefully not triggering idk yet I literally make these up on the spot
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I'm an emotional person. You know this of course, of all people.

You're calmer, stronger than I am. And seeing you cry, which happens rarely, haunts me.

So of course I remember the first time I saw you cry.

I climb through your window with expertise, since I do this often as your best friend.

It's 2 am, which is why I can't exactly knock on the green front door.

"Calum?" I whisper, shutting the window quietly.

"L-Luke. Get un-under the covers, please?" You sniffle.

I kick off my shoes and join you in the bed. It's a typical thing for us, but my heart will never fail to race during our cuddles.

I look down and notice your tear stained face, brown eyes already filling once again.

"Calum?! What's wrong, why are you crying?!"

You wrap your arms around me and cry hard into my flannel. "God, Luke! I'm scared, I'm so scared."

"Scared of what?" I ask, rubbing circles into your back.

"I had a really oddly vivid dream. You were there and you said you didn't want to be my best friend anymore and then you shoved me down this black hole. I could see your face, sneering down at me, getting further and further. And then I couldn't see you anymore. I flailed around, and then a screen popped up and I watched y-"

Your voice breaks, and you push your face into my chest again.

"I watched you shoot yourself, Luke!" You whisper scream, and I'm near tears myself at the pained look in your pretty eyes.

"Oh, Cally, come 'ere. I never want to stop being your best friend. I'll never shoot myself. I'll definitely never push you into a black hole, okay?"

"Okay. I just never want to watch you hurt yourself, Lukey, that's all I want."

"Never, Cal, never."

And I still hold that promise.

I can't watch you cry like that ever, so I can't hurt myself. Seeing your pain filled eyes is like hurting myself.

I think I fear abandonment, while you fear my death.

Ironically, while you have abandoned me, a little piece of myself has died.

Looks like our fears are a reality.
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kind of sad bc cAL AND LUKE AND AGHSKD

THIS STORY MAY BE MY SADDEST.