The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 35

"Yeah, I-I just had to settle some unfinished business." Zach replied scratching his head.

"Okay. Chad's been looking for you."

"I know." Zach stepped inside as I stepped outside. "You going somewhere?"

"Yeah, I need to settle some unfinished business too." I replied.

"Alright. See you, brother!"

"Yeah..." Just when I was about to walk away, I suddenly thought of borrowing Zach's car. I know Jordi's house is way too far from here and I already spent all of the money that I have left at the mall today. I can't even afford to take a cab right now. "Zach?"

"Yup?"

"Is it okay if I borrow your car? It's just going to be a quick ride."

"No problem, brother." Zach nodded as he quickly fished the keys from his pocket and subsequently tossing it to me.

"Thanks, man. I'll be back in an hour."

"Yeah. No problem at all."

When I got inside Zach's car, I immediately inserted the key right into the ignition and started the engine. I held the steering wheel and took the deepest breath possible and quickly thinking about how my life fucking sucks. I looked around and I noticed how neat Zach's car was except for this plastic bag filled with a lot of used wet wipes and six bottles of empty beers. Has he been drinking all alone in here? I thought to myself.

As I began the drive, I was already thinking of ways to apologize to Jordi. I know I have done it before and it's not that easy but I'm willing to do everything. Although right now, I'm starting to feel like this time around, things are going to be extra difficult. It's like a new high level that I have to surpass. I've done so many unreasonable things to him in the past and he was mad as hell but he gave me a chance and accepted my apologies the first time. The second time around, I was betting on my sincere apology and utmost honesty and somehow, it worked. Jordi gave me another chance to prove to him how much I wanted to be with him. I'm honestly betting on nothing this third chance. I obviously wasted the second chance that he gave me and that's the most fucked up thing that I've done. I don't have any idea if Jordi would still give me a chance this time and I don't want to be negative about it. I'm pretty sure he was pissed and the blame's all on me.

By the time I got to Jordi's neighborhood, I chose to park a few blocks away from their house. I began walking and as I arrived in front of their doorstep, I had this sudden wave of feeling that I might be showing up at the wrong time. I'm showing up drunk and unannounced and I don't know if that's going to sit well with Jordi's mom and dad. I was just about to ring the doorbell but there's something that's been keeping me from actually pushing the button.

I stood like an immovable statue in front of the doorstep for a quite a long while and I was just weighing things inside my head up until that moment I thought of checking on Jordi by the window. I don't see any lights coming from his bedroom window which meant he's downstairs and most probably having dinner with his family or something. At this point, I felt like a stalker.

Standing by the window, I took a quick peek inside and I immediately saw Jordi with his mom and dad at the dining table. They look exactly like how I imagined them to be; a perfect happy family. A family that I used to have until the moment it got shattered into million pieces. I immediately got washed up with jealousy.

It seemed to me that I was looking at a family that I would never ever have. I've already forgotten what it feels like to be happy and genuine and complete like them and now I just remembered everything from the past. My mom used to be in love with cooking and me and my dad always loved her home cooked recipes. This moment was just starting to dig the past and I don't know if I could still take it when I'm already feeling crestfallen.

When I took another peak, I saw how the three of them were all laughing about something. Perhaps, someone's telling a funny story. I can't hear anything but I know they were having a healthy family time. They all seem like they don't have such huge problems as a family which threw my plan off.

Why would I ruin such a festive dinner?

Why would I show up drunk and unannounced just to destroy this genuine moment?

There's a huge part of me that wanted to continue with my plan but then I had to convince myself that I'm not doing anything right if I choose to be the selfish prick.

I ended up walking away. I have to respect Jordi and his family. I know it sucks that I have to shy away from this but I just have to exercise respect. I've already done so much to Jordi and I don't want to add anything more to that.

I drove back to the party and returned Zach's keys to him. He was already drunk as fuck and he even forced me to drink what's on his cup. I noticed Kyle was already wasted on the couch which was a good thing for me. That's one less asshole that I have to deal with. Or maybe two less assholes to deal with because I looked everywhere and I didn't saw any signs of Chad. He might still be spanking someone's daughter for all I know.

I saw Nikki again and she was still standing tall and strong, not that impressive but she looked like she's truly having the best time of her life. Only this time, she's not with Levi anymore. She's having a twerk battle with this girl and almost everyone is cheering for both of them.

After a while, I decided that I'm way to fucked up to stay in this party filled with a lot of people that I don't know. I don't even have the right energy to start meeting random strangers. I ended up going home.