Discovery Devotion Destiny

Disappear

"Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life."

-Akshay Dubey

Oliver wasn't sure how he ended up here. Well that wasn't true. With Adrian in the wind, finding him and putting him down was a priority, but it wasn't his top priority. Just days ago, his wife said she needed space to determine if they even had a future together, and ever since he can't figure out which way is up.

The night before, he and the team, plus ARGUS had Adrian cornered. At least they thought they did. It was another trick. He wasn't even there. Today he had a meeting, and a press conference later just to say the same thing. They had no idea where Adrian was.

But right now, Oliver found himself back in the familiar office of Dr. Nick Adams. If he was going to work through his issues he knew he was going to need help figuring out what he needed to do.

"I screwed up." Oliver sighed as he slid a hand over the back of his head. "And I don't know how to fix it."

"Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this Oliver, but there may not be an easy fix."

"I'm getting that. I just–" Oliver sat back in the chair. "I let him get in my head. He made me believe that they were better off without me. That they were safer without me."

"And do you still think that's true?"

Oliver dropped his eyes as he thought of the question. "I think that the path that I've chosen for my life does bring a certain element of danger. I mean Adrian is a perfect example. I let him get close to me, I trusted him—I trusted him more than my wife who told me not to trust him." Oliver shook his head. "I have a dozen or so reporters waiting for me to answer the question, how could I not know." he looked up to Nick's eyes. "The truth is, I didn't want to, I didn't want to believe something that was so obvious to Katie." Oliver turned away. "I thought walking away was what was best for them. I walked away from my wife and daughter, and it made me sick to my stomach everyday. Do I think Adrian was right, I don't know, but what I do know is that I have no life without Katie, Robyn and Ari and Will. I'm willing to show her that I'm here and that I won't leave again but it's not that easy this time."

"This time?"

"We've been here before. I wasn't strong enough to ignore the insecurities and the fears, and I thought that she would be better off without me, so I ended it. She wasn't going to give me a second chance, but somehow she did and now—now I think I'm all out of second chances and that's what scares me. What if I screwed up so badly that she doesn't even want to be married to me anymore?"

"Lets not get ahead of ourselves. Right now, she's just asked for space which is a normal reaction. You got to a point in your relationship, a road block and instead of facing it head on, you walked away leaving her to figure out how to push through. Proving that you won't get scared again is impossible to promise. I think it's mostly what you do with that fear. It's like we discussed before. Open communication. Talk to her, tell her what things are going on in your head. Maybe you opening up will allow her to do the same."

Oliver wasn't sure about Nick's advice. Mostly because he wasn't sure if he could really open that door again. He feels at this point, he can hide behind his need to catch Adrian and dealing with the fears he unlocked definitely wasn't something he was looking to do.

When he pulled into the driveway of their house, Oliver stepped out of his car and let out a sigh. He didn't like not being with them. He didn't like not knowing what was going on with them or even not sleeping in the same house. He glanced over to see Sean who was coming from around the house. He gave Oliver a nod before walking over.