Chapter 20

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♫I've been, waiting, all this time to finally, say it♫

Chapter 20. 🌺

(LOUIS POV)

I paid no attention to what I was doing. My body and emotions overruled any logic I had in my mind, compelling me to move my arms around Amber's waist. I let myself melt into the kiss, my eyes shut tight. Far to soon, Amber pulled away. We stared at each other for a moment, as i admired her bright, beautiful eyes. She really was gorgeous. Actually....the word 'gorgeous' really didnt give her justice. I was just about to speak when she backed away suddenly, her eyes holding fear.

"I...we shouldn't have done that..." She stammered. No. No, she was going to pretend that kiss didnt happen. No, I refuse to let that happen. All my logic flew out the window. I didnt think of protecting her from the hate. All I could think of was life without Amber. I couldn't have that. So I stepped towards her, taking her hands in mine.

"Please don't." I nearly whispered, almost desperately. She looked shocked for a moment, locking her eyes with mine in utter confusion. We stayed that way for a while, just looking at each other. Trying to understand what was going on in the other's mind.

"I want to know what your thinking." I mumbled quietly, stepping even closer to the beautiful girl, wrapping my arms around her waist. She didn't object, but to my joy, moved closer to me instead.

"I'm wondering what the hell is going on. And I'd love to know why." She said seriously, her head resting on my shoulder as I held her in a tight embrace. So I told her.

"I've...had a crush on you for a while. Quite a big one, actually. But...I couldn't tell you. Or make a move. Because if I did, it'd only end up hurting you. I've seen what Eleanor, Danielle and Perrie go through. They've broken down a few times, and I couldn't handle seeing you like that." I confessed, cradling her closer to me. She let out a soft sigh, before nodding for me to continue.

"I...I thought my feelings might go away. That I would gradually become Unattracted and you'd find some other guy who could give you a proper relationship. But nothing left. All my feelings grew stronger and I couldn't hold them in, Amber. I'm sorry. You don't deserve this...confusion." I mumbled, lightly kissing the crown of her head. She stood in my arms, frozen. After a heartbreaking 20 seconds, she removed herself from my embrace and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Lou...I'm sorry, this is so much. I can't process..." She mumbled, straightening the creases in her forehead by massaging her fingers across them. I stood there, transfixed, as she ran away from me and towards her bunk. I couldn't contain my frustration as I sunk onto the couch. Great going Louis. You've just done exactly what you weren't supposed to do. You were selfish, wanting Amber all to yourself, and look where it got you.

She probably hates me.

Letting out an angry groan, I slammed my face into a pillow and collapsed onto the couch. Wishing for nothing more than Amber to love me back.

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