Malicious // h.s. [Editing]

Chapter 15

I have no idea how a panic attack works, but I imagine it to be like how I described. To me it makes sense that you would have a shortness of breath.. right? Just go with it, either way haha. Enjoy xx

*Not edited, yet*

Darien's POV

Vigorous pounding throughout my head was what woke me up in a panic. The pain was almost unbearable and for a moment I could not figure out why, and then it all came tumbling back and hit me tenfold. I got way beyond drunk last night, and the guilt I felt was heartbreaking. I had never had more than a few sips of alcohol before, so whiskey probably wasn't the best way to go.

I groaned and threw my hands up to grasp both sides of my head, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I was experiencing what was probably the biggest and worst migraine of my life. The amount of regret flowing through my conscience was unbelievable and in that moment, I couldn't understand how anybody could become a heavy drinker. This was definitely not my cup of tea.

When I was in the mists of sulking in my self pity, the most obvious, and probably the most important, realization came to mind. Harry. He was already fed up with me before I pulled this stunt, and he had promised me that my punishment would keep getting worse each time I did something wrong. Sore behind was for sure enough for me, I did not need the extra step I was about to get. Surely, it wouldn't get much worse, would it? I mean, he wouldn't jump too many steps with this whole "lesson" thing, would he? What more could be possibly think of?

A shit load of scenarios started to pop into my head. All of those movies where the obsessive guy holds the girl hostage and does unspeakable things makes me question why I ever agreed to stay home alone the night I was kidnapped. Harry wouldn't do those things..would he? A shiver ran up my spine at the thought and it immediately sparked a bit of fear. I can't believe I was even considering that he would do that, though I had no real reason to believe otherwise. I had no idea what I would do with myself if it came to that.

I strained sob escaped past my lips, the panicking going to another level. I had never felt this feeling before, my chest was rising and falling fast but at the same time it felt compressed, like it was barely moving at all. I couldn't breathe, the air was struggle it to get to my lungs, the oxygen barely passing through my mouth. My head was still pounding and I was dizzy beyond belief. So dizzy. My chest started to hurt from the accessible heaving, and I found myself gasping for air as if I was hiccuping. My throat and my lungs started to burn, and my vision was turning blotchy. I leaned forward in my sitting position on the edge of the bed and grabbed hold of my stomach, trying to calm myself down, when I realized what was happening to me. I was having a panic attack and if I didn't find a way to stop it I would pass out from lack of oxygen. I could already feel myself getting close.

It took numerous tries and a lot of strength before I heaved myself up and rushed to the door. As I guessed, it was locked. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing, doing a breathing pattern as some kind of half-ass technique, as I banged my hand hard against the door multiple times. I could find the air to scream for Harry, so a strangled little yell that he probably wouldn't have heard escaped my mouth. It had been well over a minute since this started, and I knew I couldn't take it much longer. I wasn't exactly sure what happened if a panic attack wasn't stopped in time, other than you could pass out from no air, but I was freaking out.

Finally, after what felt like forever but was really only about twenty seconds, Harry opened the door in a hurry. I stumbled back from exhaustion, too tired to stay standing while I was trying so hard to breath, just as Harry's worried eyes met mine. A look of shock and confusion flashed across his face as he quickly reached his arms out, catching me before I fell. He held me to him tightly as his gaze wandered over my whole body, fast.