BLXE

Part Eight

Trigger Warning:
Eating Disorder
Body Shaming

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I sit and anxiously wait my turn to enter the office. Young Mi is in now; I should be next, as they do it in age order. Hana finished a bit ago with a perfect review as usual.

The door opens and I look up to see Young Mi coming out, "Min," Is all she says. I nod and move to take her place in the room.

After the physical...

It's a quiet ride back to the dorms and our manager's voice echoes in my head.

'You were just fine last month. What happened?'

I try to shake her comments and look out the window.

Of course, it starts raining NOW... If it wasn't for the current situation, I would feel like the main character about now...

'3kg. At least.'

I can lose 3kg before debut right? Surely...

We make it back to the dorms. Noodle greets me at my room door, hopping around to try and get me to pick him up.

"Hey, buddy," I scoop him up and sit down on my bed. I look over at the full length mirror.

Did I really gain that much?

I stand up and look myself over, pulling my hair out of my face. I hear a knock at my door.

"Come in."

"Hey, I was just gonna take Uma for a walk. Want me to bring Noodle or do you-" Penny pokes her head in, then stops and looks at me, "What are you doing?"

"Do you think it looks like I've gained weight?"

"What did they say?"

"I have to lose 3 kilos before debut..." I continue to stare at my figure in the mirror. Penny is silent for a moment and all I can hear is the faint sound of the rain on my window.

"Hey, you've got time! Don't worry!" she smiles at me, trying her best to help.

I give her a sad smile, "Thanks."

"So you want me to take him?" she asks, pointing to Noodle.

"Could you? I need to shower," I look down.

"Of course," Penny nods, "Come on, Noodle!" The little dachshund gallops over to her and follows her out the door.

She made a good point about our dogs being happy here. Maybe I should do what Hyunjin does with Kkami. He could just stay here part of the time...

I decide I'll think about it more later and grab my towels.

I finish in the shower and as I'm putting lotion on my face, my phone buzzes. I wash my hands and check it.
----------------------------------------------------------

Young Mi:
What did she tell you?
Min:
What?
Young Mi:
At the physical. What did she tell you?
Min:
I have to lose 3kg.
Young Mi:
I've gotta drop 1. Wanna go running tomorrow morning with me?
Min:
I don't really run, sorry.
Young Mi:
It's alright. Let me know if you change your mind!

----------------------------------------------------------
I sigh and plug up my phone, then plop down once more on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the rain getting heavier.

I hear the door open and look to see Noodle slip in and the door close behind him. He quickly hops up into bed with me and curls up at my feet. Suddenly, my stomach growls and the little dog perks his head up to look at me.

"I know, I know. Its not good, but I have to lose weight so stop looking at me like that," I turn over onto my side and he comes up to lick my face.

"Ok, ok, fine," I giggle at him.

Well, I'm certainly not hard to convince...

I get up and head out into the kitchen. The living area of the dorm is deserted. I open the fridge and it doesn't take long to see that the only thing truly edible is the leftover rice from the boys.

I groan in frustration. Noodle yips at me.

"I don't want rice, though," I wine at him. He runs his head into my leg and I sit down on the floor. He hops on my lap and I lean my head back against the island and pet him.

'What exactly have you been doing? You've gained so much since last month!'

'I don't know. Just the normal stuff I always do.'

Tears start to sting my eyes and I try to calm myself by hugging my dog.

'Well, maybe you need a new normal.'

A knock on the door breaks my thoughts and I look at the clock on the wall. 10:30.

Who would be here this late?

I quickly wipe my eyes and open the door to see Seungmin awkwardly standing there with a food container.

"You never texted any of us, so I just thought I'd bring them over," he shuffles in his place.

Oh right. Felix's brownies...

"Oh, well, thank you," I bow and take the container, setting it on the counter, "You can come in, if you like."

"No, I don't want to impose. I just-" he stops and tilts his head to look at me, "Are you alright?"

I glance around nervously and force a smile for him, "Yeah, of course!"

"Are you sure?" he asks, looking genuinely concerned. I feel my eyes begin to water once more and stare down at the floor.

"Mhm."

"I- Um..." he stutters, then quietly steps forward and I feel arms wrap around me. I am stunned at first, but before I know it, I'm hugging the little sunshine boy back.

I pull back after a minute and laugh at myself, "Aha, uhm... Thank you. I needed that." I sniff and he nods, understanding.

"I should get back," he slowly heads back out into the hallway, "See you later."

"Goodnight," I wave to him and close the door. I peer down at the container of brownies and grin.

Surely just one won't hurt...