A Complicated Love

the ugly truth

* authors note

So poor J lost the baby ): plus she doesn't know it yet. Uh oh. Sorry I haven't updated in like 3 days, shame on me, expect a considerable amount of updates because I've been writing all night. I've been in that type of mood haha. Well enjoy babes!

Janel's POV

I feel like complete trash. I've been in this hospital for hours, my head is killing me. I can just imagine how my face looks because of these stitches, the doctors won't let me eat anything. I think it's because they want to see what I can eat for the baby anyways so I'm okay with that. Look at me, thinking as a mother. It feels, good. Like I some purpose.

"Hey you okay?"

A young male nurse or doctor, can't tell really, asks as he knocks on my door.

"Um actually I want to have a update on my food chart"

He looks confused. What kind of doctor is he?

"For the baby? I thought pregnant woman can eat whatever they'd like?" I say with a attitude.

"Oh I'm not a doctor I'm just you know, um a volunteer. I was asked to check up on you I don't have like updates sorry"

Seriously then why is he here? Jeez does this hospital let anybody work here.

"Can I call my family?" I say after a sigh.

Hospitals makes me bitchy, clearly.

"Actually they are here. I'll get them for you" he says while rushing out.

I need my family right now. Sam included. I just hope Val isn't here. Not because I don't want to see him because of course I do, but I just want to tell him about my pregnancy on my time.

"Janelly babe" Sam says while rushing in to hug me.

God I didn't know how fragile my body was. Her hug feels like a 30 pound ball just sitting on top of me. I push her back off in a gentle way showing my pain .

"Oh I'm sorry I was just so worried"

"No it's okay I'm just happy to see a friendly face." I smile brightly.

"Is there anything you need babe? Food, clothes? Oh yes. You need clothes."

We both laugh.

"Actually, a food chart thingy, you know for the baby, since the whole incident."

Sams face completely falls.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?"

Oh no god I hope she didn't tell Val. I wouldn't blame her if she did but I really hope she didn't. I'm not ready for this yet. I just got use to the fact that I'm going to be a mom I don't need Val completely disowning us.

"You know Val didn't you?"

"Janel you were on the floor, passed out nobody was rushing to get you help I needed him to know so he could do anything an-"

I cut her off. Before she started her babbling.

"Sam it's okay. look I would have done the same thing, I just, don't kno if-"

Before I even get to finish my sentence we get interrupted by a soft knock on the door. my eyes dart straight and there he is, Val.

"I'm going to just, leave you two" Sam says while making her way to the door.

Before she got off the bed I tried to grab her own but she knew full well what she was doing.

"Actually I'm kind of tired" I fake yawn which actually sounded real.

"J we need to talk" Val says while making his way to the end of my bed.

Oh good, here we go.

"I know you, well know. That m pregnant. Look, this isn't like a you need to step up and be a father thing I can do this on my own"

"Janel are you kidding?"

Wait what?

"Look," Val says while moving himself upward on the bed and grabbing my hand.

I'm actually confused. This is not the reaction I was expecting.

"When I found out, that you were pregnant I was freaked out. Total shock. I brought you to the hospital and found myself getting angry, but most of all J I'm just scared, I was."

Val scared? This is a new one. He seems genuine.

"Val it's okay I ju-"

"Wait look me finish please"

Honestly he's kind of sounding honest and freaking me out. This is defiantly not Val. Where is he going with this? We were completely on the outs, I didn't tell him I'm pregnant, the list can go on honestly, but I decide to let him finish. I'm honestly curious to what he has to say.

"Okay. Go ahead."

He takes a deep breath then continues.

"After all those feelings I found myself, strangely happy. Still freaked out of course, but happy I was going to start a family with you, and you were going to start one with me. I'm not saying that's the only reason I was happy, that you weren't with some other guy getting on with your life but it's about time if settled and what better way that could be with you, even though I can be quite the jerk"

We both laugh.

"Yes true"

"But what I'm about to say won't change any of that. I want us to start a family, I would be blessed to have you raise my children."

My heart just dropped what, where is all this coming from. Val actually wanting kids? Not freakin out? I just be sleep but I feel the biggest smile on my face.

"Janel I want to work on us, but before I do that I have to tell you something"

I sense he's going to tell me he did something with another girl while we were on the outs but to be fair I did kiss Mark again without Val knowing, as long as the bitch isn't Rumer or anyone in her twisted family I want to get passed it .

"Val we can move past it okay? Let's keep the past in the past and move forward" I put my other hand on his.

"No it's nothing like that J" he says while putting his head down.

Then what's it like, I'm honestly so confused.

"Then what's it like?" I say while pulling my hand off of his.

"While we were in the waiting room, we talked to the doctor, it isn't good"

"What isn't good Val!?" I sit myself up straight.

"The baby...you um, we um"

Deep down I know, I know exactly where he's going with this.

"I think you should leave!"

"Janel" he says while trying to grab my hand once more.

"Leave!!"

"NO, I'm not going to leave. You have to hear this and you're going too"

My heart just completely aches because I know. Just the look on his face tells me it all. I can't help it even if I tried my eyes begin to water and tears are already coming down.

"You lost the baby, we lost the baby"

* authors note

I'm so sorry I'm making Janel's life suck so badly lmao but I'm going to make it all better just keep hopes babes.