Artificial Love (Thiam)

Chapter 29

Liam's eyes trailed on the cake in front of him.

He didn't actually like this sort of cake. It was sort of brickish, overly fancy and not about taste. Surely whatever they got would end up costing far more than any cake ever should.

Maybe Liam was partially just grumpy about doing this at all. That was definitely possible. It was more a photo shoot than a genuine event. The two of them weren't allowed to plan a damn thing on their own, it was all just advertisement, really, and Liam had no choice but to go along with it.

What was more, he could hardly keep his eyes off Theo.

Like everything else about this, it wasn't their choice who the bridal party was. Theo was his best man, Tracy was Hayden's Maid of Honour, and Liam was fairly certain someone, somewhere was torturing him. If it wasn't bad enough sitting right near Theo while he pretended to plan a wedding he'd never wanted, he also had to sit and watch Hayden, who had quickly become a best friend to him, try to hide her own feelings for Tracy.

They were back on speaking terms, Liam knew, but not like he and Theo were. He didn't know what specifically had gone down between the two, but he knew that there were still things left to be said between them. He wanted to understand better, but he couldn't help but feel that Hayden shouldn't have to tell him if she didn't want to. And she never wanted to talk about it these days. She was more than entitled to that privacy, but Liam worried. Especially since his and Theo's relationship had shifted so quickly.

Liam had apologised for it, feeling guilty that he and Theo had found some understanding, but Hayden and Tracy hadn't. She had told Liam she wouldn't have forgiven Theo so easily if it was her, but Liam wondered if that was really true. He wondered if she'd really hold out on Tracy if Tracy had come to her with the same vulnerability as Theo.

He also wondered if Hayden gave Theo a hard time because of their individual relationship.

Liam, in what was both a show of affection and an attempt at solidarity, squeezed Hayden's hand atop the table. She gave him a warm smile. She had looked at him the same way when he told her about Theo. Given him a warm, fond smile, shaken her head, and told him he was weak for forgiving Theo, but she was happy for him. She'd said it fondly and jokingly, but Liam really did wonder if she thought he was stupid. Maybe. They were stuck no matter what. Still, despite his panic about time running out, Liam loved Theo. He loved Theo and Theo loved him and even with all that suffocating anxiety, he was the happiest he'd ever been. .

He wanted Hayden and Tracy to be happy too, but he knew that no matter what any of them decided to do, all of this was going to be a mess. It was an inevitability of the situation.

He wondered if anyone, his mother included, really understood what she was asking Liam to do. All of them. The four, sitting with each other and pretending to plan a wedding. It was some specific kind of torture, he wa sure, and one that Liam really didn't know how to combat. He felt he should do something to lessen the blow for his friends, but he really had nothing. No ideas on how to make it better. No ideas on how to fix it.

Most likely, the best thing was the space that Theo had put between them after Caroline's passing. It was probably the smartest thing, for the four of them to steer clear and learn how to move on. But the truth was, even knowing that, Liam wouldn't change a damn thing about the choices he'd made. He knew what the smart choice was, and yet he couldn't bring himself to regret making the other one. Especially as he glanced across at Theo again, and saw the look in his eyes.

It was hard to put into words, because his expression hadn't changed, but there was something softer in his eyes, something fonder. For many years, there had been glimpses of that softness in Theo's eyes, even as kids he had seen it every so often, but back then, things had been complicated in a different way, and they'd both been hiding behind competitiveness, confusion and repression. He felt like he'd watched Theo grow from an angry and bitter child into a confused but genuine teenager and finally, into the far more self aware and genuinely caring adult that he knew now. He couldn't begrudge himself or even really Theo any part of it though. Growing up the way they had, the pressure had been insurmountable, and they had always felt like direct rivals.