Artificial Love (Thiam)

Chapter 26

By the time the function had been properly planned, it had been nine months since the funeral. There was a Raeken shaped hole in his heart, and Liam had no idea how to fill it.

Liam still didn't really want to have this party, but he knew it was his responsibility. The crushing weight of that responsibility seemed insurmountable and suffocating, like being stuck in a room with all the walls closing in. Hayden handled things with more grace than he, and despite them acknowledging their relationship would never be what they hoped, the two had retained some of the changes.

They still slept in the same bad. Whatever intimacy there was was never sexual, but they were both lonely and evidently needed support. They would often wake up holding onto each other, and Liam was sure they were holding each other up.

It would be easy for him to say it was because of Caroline and Theo. Maybe at one point it had been. Now, it felt more about the pressure. The entire country relying on them, and the weight of the lives they'd never get to live. They talked a lot about their roles, and about how their prescribed identities in life had affected them. Liam wasn't sure he'd ever been able to talk so honestly with anyone about his resentment, but the same was true of his hope.

Hayden and he could talk for hours about what they wanted to change. Politics and civil rights and financial affairs. They could talk about their deep sadnesses, but they could also talk about their shards of hope.

Hayden herself had become a shard of hope, and while it was still genuinely heartbreaking to be walking side by side in a death march towards a life of things being decided on their behalf, he didn't feel like an enemy of hers, but like an ally. That was more helpful than he could put into words.

He sat on the bed behind Hayden, a curling wand in his hand, carefully doing her hair, exactly as she had shown him. Such was their routine. They'd come to hang out nearly constantly, and be friendly all the while.

"Valerie's coming, right?" He asked, though he already knew the answer.

"You know she is," Hayden snorted her answer, "You're only asking because you know she loves you."

"I mean, it doesn't hurt." He answered playfully, glad for the levity. Neither of them bothered asking if Theo or Tracy was coming. They had invited them for the sake of appearances, but neither had responded. Josh and Brett on the other hand, he knew to be coming.

His own family would be there, naturally. He'd invited Nolan too, considering genuinely offering him a job, especially since he knew the former guard had had more experience and wanted to emigrate. Corey and Mason were staying over, a few rooms down getting ready, and Liam was relieved he still had them. He hoped he always would.

Aside from that, people of prominence from both countries were coming, and that terrified him somewhat. Though, for sure the media were the worst part.

"She just doesn't know you like I do yet." Hayden deadpanned in response, and Liam snorted a laugh.

"Ouch." He said slowly as he let another curl fall onto her back, "Are you saying you don't love me? How could you? Now we'll have to call off the engagement and declare war against you."

She gasped, "Oh no. But on the bright side, the tabloids will absolutely make bank."

Liam nodded, feigning at serious and somber, "Mm, and we all know it's really all about the tabloids." He agreed with a nod. They both broke into quiet laughter, and Liam felt that, despite his upset over it all, he had begun to heal, finally, after he had broken down crying in Hayden's arms. Once he'd said it out loud, it had become less heartbreaking, and more rational. His desperation and sadness had faded into acceptance and, if he was totally honest, a bit of indignation. Perhaps it would've been one thing had Theo come back to them after being so cruel. But leaving it the way he had? Liam didn't think he owed him any more allowances than he had already given Theo over the years.