Artificial Love (Thiam)

Chapter 11

Theo was being stupid. He was being bold, but he was being stupid and bold. He had no right to ask Liam that. He had no right to be flirting with Liam, and there was no mistaking it, that was what he was doing.

But Liam was someone that Theo had felt things for for a long time now-- someone he'd genuinely cared about. Theo might be bad at his feelings, but he knew they were there. He knew that this was coming from years of avoiding dealing with those feelings.

He thought helplessly about growing up with him. What it had been like. How many years he'd spent jealous when Liam spent more time with anyone else, but pinning it on being annoyed because Liam generally managed to annoy him.

He thought about how many years Liam had been able to talk him into playing any game at all, and how Liam almost always won anything intellectual they tried to play, despite Theo being just as smart and generally getting better grades in his schooling. He always wondered if part of it was his total inability to focus in Liam's presence. He had always incited so much anger and discontent in Theo, but it was about the most stupid stereotype he could've ever lived up to. Hating the boy he was in love with for having the audacity to exist. And, god forbid, in Theo's case, when his life was mapped out, to be male.

Not that it had ever been Liam's fault. Oh no, it was never Liam's fault that Theo was so broken; he had always been far nicer than Theo, and perhaps that had been part of the problem. Because how was he meant to hate Liam and get over it when Liam was so much nicer than him? So much better than him?

It was childish, and petty, but perhaps so was Theo.

He could remember when he'd realised it. At that stupid ball. He'd known on some level, he was sure. Josh was always giving him shit about it.

He wanted to pull his phone out and text Josh. What the hell would he even say? 'Hey man, I'm a total fucking moron, I just ditched a party with Liam, raced him into the middle of a maze and I think I just accidentally propositioned him.' It about summed it up, but he was pretty sure Josh would actually murder him for it.

Liam still hadn't answered, and they were still standing there, chest to chest, barely an inch or two from actually touching. It was too close. There was no mistaking what had happened here, at least not in Theo's eyes. And it was his fault. He was trying to be genuine. He was trying to apologise. He was trying to act like friends-- play games together and bond over something other than their joint childhoods. He hadn't meant to ignite Liam's anger and he hadn't meant for Liam to draw that apology out of him. That apology that felt (to Theo, at least) like it had given too much away.

And then he had looked at Liam's lips, because he was an idiot, and a weak, weak man.

And Liam noticed, because how the hell could he not, when Theo was being so damn conspicuous about it?

He expected Liam to shove him away. To run off. He had said he should go, but he hadn't said he wanted to. He hadn't moved. He was still breathing heavily, even though they'd both had time to calm down already.

Theo was too.

Liam still hadn't answered, and Theo didn't know what to do now.

It felt like a moment of pure, untamed anticipation. One second where everything could change one way or the other.

Then he saw Liam swallow, and the tension broke. Theo felt like he could move again, but only in one direction. Barely thinking about it, his hands were on either of Liam's upper arms, and in a moment, he was kissing Liam.

He felt as though he should be making note of every moment of this, like he should be registering every feeling, every thought, but nothing came to his mind. Instead, he felt Liam hesitate for a moment, before kissing him back. He felt Liam's hands at his hips and for a moment, everything in the world seemed a little brighter. A little better.