Gloom & sunshine

Chapter 15: Sorrow

You come in waves
'Til you're all I know
Then you fade away
Into nothing
Weighed down by dark matter inside
You leave me frozen
You leave me frozen in time
In your...'

"Awsten."

'Everglow
You'll never know
The beauty I see when you open your shadows,'

"Awsten." Otto sat on the couch next to his friend.

'Everglow
They'll never know
The worlds that I see in the darkness you don't show,'

"Awsten, come on man..." Otto watched him sadly. Since Geoff had stormed out of the house, Awsten had barely left this position. Curled up on the couch, facing the cushions, back towards the tv that was playing Awsten's Spotify loudly. Everglow by Starset had been on loop since Geoff left. Otto had never heard the song before, but knew it by heart now. He also knew it had been three days since Awsten showered or ate properly. Otto had managed to get him to eat some toast, but that was pretty much it. Awsten basically got up to pee and then would return to this position.

He had given up on trying to get into contact with Geoff. The guitarist's voicemail wasn't even accepting messages anymore; Awsten had filled it with pleas for Geoff to call him. Pleas Geoff hadn't listened to yet. He wasn't calling Rian, Zack, or Alex anymore, what was the point? Obviously they had taken sides.

Awsten stared unseeing at the back of the couch, the sorrowful screaming of Dustin Bates filling the living room for the 100th time that night as the song reached its height. Otto wished he knew what to say, he wished he could turn off the music and tell Awsten to buck up. The drummer sighed, patting Awsten's leg gently.

"I'm going to take the bus to the storage lot, okay? Want to come along? Getting out of the house will do you some good, I think."

"That bus can rust and rot in the driveway for all I care." Awsten grumbled, not moving.

Otto rubbed his face and sighed. "Alright... you should start your laundry soon, we leave for California in three days." Awsten didn't respond, but Otto saw the way the singer's eyes teared up. With nothing else to offer, he covered Awsten in a blanket, grabbed the bus keys and went on his way.

Hearing the front door close and locked, Awsten reached for his new phone, dialed Geoff's number again, held it to his ear and waited.

"Hey! You've reached Geoff's phone. Sorry I can't answer, I'm probably trying to keep Awsten from doing something stupid! Leave a message and I'll call back when I can!"

"We're sorry, the mailbox you're trying to reach is full. Please try your call again later."

Awsten hung up, and shakily sent a text to Geoff, a text he knew Geoff wouldn't read. All of his messages were unread and unresponded to.

'I need you... please.' Sent at 7:32 pm.

After a minute with no response, Awsten locked his phone and tossed it to the end of the couch by his feet.

' Caught inside the field lines
That pull me to the land mines inside you
Black hole eyes won't gaze now'

Awsten curled tighter in on himself, crying hard into his knees, feeling utterly abandoned.

'It's Otto. Call me back.' Sent at 7:56 pm.

Otto sat in line at the storage lot, waiting for his turn to be let in. He figured now would be a good time to call Geoff. Sure enough, his phone rang a minute or so later.

"Hey..." Said the tired and quiet voice on the other end.

"Hey, bud. How are you?"

Otto could almost visualize Geoff's shrug in the small silence before the guitarist continued. "I'm... surviving, I guess."