Gloom & sunshine

Chapter 8: Empathy

Geoff could feel his palms sweating. Not from the heat but from the pure anxiety. He wanted to take off his jacket, but with every movement, he could feel his shirt fabric rub against the scratches. How could he have done something so stupid?

"Babe!" Jack yelled with a smile, waving at them as they walked up to where ATL and The Wrecks were waiting. The three walked up to them, Jack slinging his arm around Geoff's shoulders in a hug. Geoff gave him a smile and a hug. "How was your guys' hotel night? Get shit hammered? 'Cause I sure as fuck did."

Geoff laughed, rolling his eyes a bit, but his smile faltered as he watched Awsten walk away with a set jaw. The rest of the two bands followed, Alex and Awsten pausing yards away when they noticed Geoff and Jack were still standing alone together. Geoff looked down, picking at his hand a little, Jack tilted his head.

"What's wrong, sunshine?" He asked quietly, glancing over at Alex, his own expression faltering seeing the hard expression on the singer's face.

"I did... I did something kind of stupid, Jack... and I can't tell Awsten or Otto..." He said quietly, still not looking up from his hands. Jack looked at him, brown eyes filling with concern, he cracked a quick smile, hoping he could maybe cheer up the slightly shorter guitarist.

"Did ya get pregnant, Geoff? 'Cause I don't know if I can help you there."

But Geoff didn't smile, he shook his head, still not looking up. "I hurt myself, Jack..." His voice was almost silent, but Jack heard it, his face falling, he set his hands on Geoff's shoulders.

"What did you do, Geoff? Did you cut? Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" He was speaking quietly too, it was the most serious Geoff had ever heard him-- Geoff knew he had officially fucked up.

"N-No, I scratched-- I know it's not as serious--"

"Any form of self harm is serious, sunshine. Come on, let's get inside the park then to a bathroom so I can check them. Did you break skin?"

Geoff nodded slowly, he had seen some spots of blood on his hoodie this morning. Jack took his hand and they walked past the two singers, Awsten's eyebrows furrowed in concern as Geoff had his head ducked when he walked past. Alex just looked straight irritated that Jack had ignored him. Jack and Geoff got their entrance tickets and Jack took him straight to the nearest bathroom. The tall guitarist checked all the stalls before latching the lock on the bathroom door so they wouldn't have any intruders.

"Let me see." Jack said gently, helping Geoff out of his jacket. Geoff swallowed around the lump in his throat and pulled off his striped shirt and turned around showing Jack his back. Jack let out a soft concerned hiss. "Geoff... why did you do this?" Jack asked quietly, going to the sink to wet a paper towel and lightly dab at some of the dried blood that had crusted along some of the more aggressive scratches. Jack thought Geoff's back had looked like he had been attacked by a wild animal. His mind wanted to joke ' Maybe a wild Awsten ,' but he knew better. Now was not the time.

"It's too much... everything-- I can't... I can't be someone Awsten would want... e-even if he didn't have a girlfriend... I can't be a good band member-- I-I'm so weak, I--" Geoff was sobbing out his reasoning. Jack turned him around and hugged him tight regardless of Geoff being shirtless. "I-I love him so much, J-Jack I-I can't---" He clutched Jack's shirt and cried into his friend. "I can't--"

"Shh, shh, take a breath, Geoff..." Jack said softly into Geoff's hair. "It's alright, just take a moment, take a moment to breathe, okay?"

"Wh-what should I do?" Geoff whispered after a moment of calming down. "Sh... should I leave the band...?"

"What? No, that's insane." Jack pulled back to look at Geoff's face. "Just imagine what that'd do to Awsten and Otto."

Geoff nodded, walking over to get a paper towel to blow his nose in before rinsing his face with cold water. He leaned over the mouse-shaped porcelain for a moment to draw in slow shaky breaths. Jack walked to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, being mindful of the angry red lines.