Home is where the heart is - A Bucky x Reader Story

Chapter 14: The safe house

(Author's note: Please ignore that Tony's in that picture)

Bucky kept looking back, making sure nobody was following us, and so far, it seemed like nobody did. That incident had left me pretty shaken up, and even though I refused to accept that guy as my father, I was a little curious. What happened? Who was he, who was my mother? What were his ties to Hydra? I knew he was bad news, after all he seemed to have known Bucky's trigger words. But part of me was curious.

"Y/n, are you ok?" Bucky asked and looked at me from the corner of his eye. Thank god he wasn't one of those drivers who looked anywhere but on the road. "I... I don't... No. It's just... a lot." I said. I needed to clear my head. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here." He promised and laid his right hand on my thigh for a few seconds, before putting it back on the steering wheel. "Thank you" I whispered, truly appreciating his presence. „It's just... I don't want to ever see that guy again, but for some reason... I'm curious. Who is he really? Who am I really, what am I really? What did Hydra want to do with me? But I also just want to get away and never have anything to do with it, because I'm so, so scared of the truth. I want to... Bury myself in blankets....Cry. I don't know what to do, how to sort my thoughts and feelings. I don't want to accidentally hurt anyone, or... worse" I said and fought back tears again.

„I know how you feel, princess." Bucky spoke with a calming voice. „After I was freed from the mind control and before I regained my memory, it was the same for me. I met people from my past, I knew that there was this „monster" called the winter soldier and that in a way, that was me. I wanted to know what happened, but I was also terrified of the truth. To find out that I was the monster that everyone feared and that everyone thought I was. But eventually I learned there is more to myself than my past and that I can do my part to become a better person. You had a big part in me understanding that." he said and smiled reassuringly before looking back at the road. „I know this is a difficult situation for you, but you'll have time to think. And I'm here for you, for the good parts and the bad parts. And I won't let him harm you. I promise."

****

After we had been driving for hours, we finally made it to the safe house. It was a cabin right by a lake and it seemed really cozy and quiet, just what I needed right now. Bucky parked the car in front of the house and told me to stay in the car, then opened my door like a gentleman. "You're silly, Barnes." I said and smiled weakly. "I saw that smile, Stark!" Bucky said, but upon hearing my last name, my face fell again. "Let's just bring the bags inside." I mumbled and helped Bucky carry our stuff to the safe house. It was secured with a finger print lock, like all the safe houses. Dad had told us all when he had finished building them, we actually had quite a few of them, spread over the US and the rest of the world. But this one? It was my favorite, by far.

"Go change into some more comfortable clothes. I'll make you some hot chocolate if you want to." Bucky suggested and even though I loved hot chocolate, I wasn't feeling like it. „I think I'd rather lay down for a bit and let everything set." I said and turned to walk towards the master bedroom, force of habit. But Bucky didn't complain. „I'll take the room right next to your's, but I'll stay up for a bit longer. I'm not tired yet." I nodded and trotted off to the bedroom.

-BUCKY'S POV-

After Y/n had closed the door behind her, I let out a big sigh. I had a feeling neither of us would be getting much sleep tonight, but she needed some rest. And I didn't mind that she decided to take the big room. A few weeks ago, I would have fought her over it, but I knew better not to. She deserved to have the big room, especially after today.

I decided to sit down on the sofa and take a book out of my bag that I hadn't brought to the bedroom yet. One of the books had been in the bag before we left (I had an extra copy of my favorite that I kept there in case of emergency), but before we left I had decided to take one of Y/n's books. Not because I wanted to steal it, but because I wanted to know what kind of things she liked. I was... curious. So the first book that had fallen into my lap was this book „It ends with us" by a woman named Colleen Hoover. I had seen Y/n read this multiple times and she always seemed hooked, so it could only be a good book. Right? At least that's what I was hoping, so I started to read. When I opened the book though, a little piece of paper fell out of the book, maybe she had used it as a book mark. When I picked it up from the floor, I realized what it was. God dammit.... Our "rules".