Troubled Indeed

CHAPTER TWENTY

We pull up to Benji's daycare fifteen minutes after our heart-to-heart. I'm glad Anthony finally opened up and shared some bits of his past yet again. I'm sure there's a lot more to find out, but for now, my curiosity is satisfied. I should be on cloud nine that he's sharing, but there's a nagging feeling that he still doesn't tell me the important stuff. I just have to let it go for now and hope that one day he'll trust me completely.

We walk up to the building, and I can see through the windows that some kids are still playing inside. I'm glad Benji is not the last kid in there.

"Hey, I'm here to pick up Benji," I say as I step through the door, excited to see my boy again. But then I notice he's nowhere around. Usually, he runs straight to me but now...

The teacher looks at me, and a dark shadow crosses her face. I know immediately that something is wrong.

"Where is he?" I demand, my tone coming off angrier than I intended.

"Errm...um...," the teacher seems to be at loss for words.

"Where is Benjamin?" I hear Anthony's deep voice behind me. His patience is running out, he must have picked up the general vibe here. Something is very very wrong. But at least he gets the teacher talking.

"His father picked him up an hour ago," the teacher says, barely audible.

"He doesn't have a father," I reply. I made it very clear from day one that Benji does not have a father, and I only introduced Anthony here recently, but we were together the whole time. What the hell? It takes me a moment to realize who that "father" is. I feel dizzy and I grasp the wall next to me. Anthony takes a step closer to me and hugs me from behind. No, it's not to comfort me. It's basically to hold me up because suddenly I feel immobile, close to falling on my face.

"What the fuck?" Anthony says angrily, then adds, "So you just give out kids to random strangers now?"

"No, sir...," the teacher begins, finding her voice again, "The man introduced himself very politely, he showed me some paperwork that indicated that he was the biological father."

"Who's the fucker?" Anthony raises his voice at her, and even though the teacher frowns at his cussing, she lets it go.

"Simon," I say in unison with the teacher. But I guess Anthony already knew that. He just wanted to be certain.

"How could you?" I ask the teacher, almost hissing at her, "I told you since the first day we came here that I take care of Benji alone. He doesn't have a father!" I still feel dizzy, but adrenaline is now pumping through me and at this point, I'm ready to attack anyone who's in my way of getting to my son. It's good that Anthony is still holding me.

"He had paperwork, I couldn't refuse," she says apologetically. She knows she fucked up in a grand way, and it dawns on her that there could be legal consequences for her. She starts crying.

"The paperwork was fake, it's all FAKE," I yell at her, tears flowing down my cheeks. "You gave my son to a complete stranger!"

The teacher doesn't say anything, her shoulders sag and she's sobbing. A kid behind her back starts crying.

"Did he go willingly?" I yell at her, "I guess fucking not!"

The woman in front of me lowers her head and shakes her head no.

"I'll call the police," the teacher finally stutters.

"No," Anthony says sternly. "Time to go," he adds and practically pulls me through the door.

"What do you mean time to go? I have to find my son!" I yell at him.

"First of all, calm down," he says, ushering me to his car, "He's not here anymore. We'll find him."

"How can you say that?! Do you have an idea where he is? We need to call the police!" I say through sobs.

"No," he replies.

Something in his demeanor aggravates me. I don't know what it is...but then it dawns on me that we took a detour. If it wasn't for his strip club, we would have been here on time to pick up Benji.

"It's your fault," I raise my voice again and turn sharply to face him, pointing my index finger at him.

"What the fuck?" He sounds surprised and takes a step backward.

"It was your godforsaken strip club that you just had to visit. Benji wouldn't be kidnapped if we were here on time!" My arms are flailing, I'm experiencing shortness of breath and I start hyperventilating.

Anthony doesn't say anything. He takes a step closer to reach me, but I bat him away. I can't breathe and bend over to catch my breath. Anthony steps closer, pulls me up, and holds me tight to his chest. I don't have the energy to fight him. And to be honest, his heartbeat against my ear has a calming effect on me. I can breathe again. I can think again. I don't know how long we're standing like that, but it's long enough for me to realize what I said was unfair.

"I'm sorry," I whisper through sobs.

He still doesn't say anything. He strokes my hair and kisses me on the top of my head.

"We need to go," he says a moment later, "I know where Simon lives."

"I'm coming with you," I say without hesitation.

"No, babe, you're not. I'm going alone. I'll drop you off at home," he says matter-of-factly.