Troubled Indeed

CHAPTER FOUR

I'm glad Benjamin is at his grandmother's is the first thought in my head as soon as I wake up. The second one is why the hell it's so bright outside? I struggle to open my eyes, but the brightness isn't really helping. I squint and notice that Anthony is not with me. Did he really just leave me like that? I think he might be avoiding me. Maybe Mr. Moneybags didn't want to tell me about his fortune after all. I grab my phone from the nightstand and a piece of paper floats on the floor. I move closer to the edge of the bed and peek over it to read:

Babe, urgent work stuff

Love you

-A.

He's gone. Again. And my head is pounding. I check my phone to see several missed calls and unread messages – all from my mom. The last message suggests that we go wedding dress shopping today. I know I agreed to this, but does it have to be today? I decide to call Anthony instead. He picks up on the second ring, but his tone is cool and clipped.

"What?" he almost shouts at me.

"I...I..." I can't seem to answer, I don't know why I even called, so I say, "I was just wondering if you'll be back today?"

"Yep, bye." And he hangs up.

What the hell?

That's not the way to speak to your girlfriend. What could be so important that he couldn't even wait for me to reply? A nasty thought starts creeping into my head, but I shake it off. He can't be cheating on me. That's absurd. I shudder as if it will take the thought away and go for a coffee. I can't keep up with my mother's energy without at least one cup of coffee first.

***

I'm thankful that Alexi agreed to babysit Benji, because an hour later I'm sitting in a bridal shop, waiting for my mother to slip on dress number three. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that the sales lady thought I was the bride when we first walked in, which by the way sounds logical, but now whenever a new bride-to-be walks in, everyone asks to see my ring. I'm so close to flipping off the next one who asks me.

I look around the bright-white shop and any other time I'd think that all of this is ridiculous. But now that I'm in love with the most gorgeous man ever, I feel like I want to do this, the big white wedding. And I realize that whenever he asks me, if he'll ever ask me, I'll definitely say yes. I try to imagine what our wedding would look like, but my train of thought is soon interrupted.

"So, I think this might be it," my mother says from behind the changing room curtain. She said that with the first two dresses as well, and yet here we are.

"Sure, let's see it out here," I reply dryly.

"Tamtadadaaa!" My mother's happy face emerges from the little changing space. I guess this time she was serious. Her dress is gorgeous. It fits her age and figure perfectly – not too revealing, not too flashy, but classy and elegant. Just like her.

"Lucky number three," I whisper, and I feel I'm going to cry. Happy tears, of course.

"I know, right? This dress is absolutely perfect!" She's so ecstatic, her eyes are welling up and she has that bridal quality to her. The dress really suits her.

"Mom, and I can't believe what I'm about to say, but you are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen," I say to her and wipe my cheek.

My mom deserves to be happy. But all of this is bittersweet for me. It's like we're cheating on dad together. And I understand that he's been dead for so long and my mom needs to move on, but a tiny pinch of pain twists my heart.

"Oh, honey," mom sashays closer in her white dress and gently grabs my cheeks with her palms, "I know you miss him. I miss him too. But we can't mourn him forever, right?" She uses her thumb to wipe away my tear.

I nod. How did she even know what I was thinking? Did my face really give away my sadness?

"I know mom, I know. And you deserve to be happy and wear a big white dress and be a beautiful bride to your man." She nods, kisses my forehead, and steps back on her little pedestal.

I admire my mother as she twists herself in front of the mirror when I notice another reflection in the mirror - a man is looking directly at us from outside. I quickly turn around and recognize a familiar face. It can't be him. I stand up, but something freaks him, and he disappears.

"Mom, be right back," I yell over my shoulder as my feet are already running after the man. Whatever she replies is way behind me, because in mere seconds I'm out the door.

I look around the street but whatever or whomever I saw is long gone. There are way too many people to start searching for that ghostly man I once knew. I can only hope that my mind is playing tricks on me, and what I saw was actually just a ghost from the past. But deep down inside I know that it was him.

I look around once more and try to steady my heartbeat, but it's impossible to notice someone when there are hundreds of people walking up and down the street.

"What just happened?" mom asks with horror, "Why did you just bolt out the door?"

I can't tell her what I saw. I don't want to ruin her magical moment of dress shopping. I'll tell her another time.

"I, um, I thought that I was getting a parking ticket, but I realized there's still enough time left," I lie. And I hate lying to my mom.

"Oh, okay," she says with relief. She's being assisted back into the changing room because she just said yes to that beautiful dress.

I look out the windows to see if the creep is back. I know he's probably long gone, but my mind needs some reassurance of what just happened. I need to talk to Anthony about this, but I'm not sure it would be of any help. So, I decide to keep this to myself, at least for now until I figure out what or who I saw.