helpless (Lams)

The Two Englishes Clash

...

JOHN LAURENS

SATURDAY, JULY 9

"John." McHenry nudged my shoulder as my eyes fluttered open. "Wake up," he cooed.

"I wasn't asleep," I mumbled groggily. "Just resting my eyes."

"Yeah, right," he said, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, your sister's still asleep back there, so I suggest you bring her inside before she has to spend the night in the backseat of my car."

I turned my head to look over at Polly, who was, in fact, still sleeping in the backseat. "Yeah. Sure. Thanks for the ride." I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened my door, walking around to Polly's side of the car.

"Hey, Polly," I whispered as I opened her door. She just snuffled in her sleep and flopped her head to the side. "C'mon, I can't carry you inside and Dad would kill me if I lost you or broke you or whatever you do with kids."

I climbed out of the car, the cold rain hitting my face and making me shiver. I pulled off my jacket and wrapped it around my little sister to somewhat protect her from the rain.

"Alright, listen," I said once we got to the porch. I shook the water from my hair. "I got some friends over, so you better be nice, got me?"

She smiled, bouncing up and down, excited to spend at least a week with me. "It's cold out here, can we go in?"

"Wipe your feet," I said, and opened the door.

Polly skipped that part, jumping over the mat, and trailing mud into the house. I took a deep breath and sighed in annoyance.

"Hey John!" Hercules chirped from the couch, looking down at Polly. "Who's the kid?" he asked.

"Oh, she's my sister, Polly. She'll be staying with us for a few days."

Laf turned away from their movie with a horrified look in his eyes. "I'm sorry, what?" he rasped.

"My sister. She hasn't seen me in a while and wanted to come back with me," I reiterated. Laf closed his eyes and muttered something in a language I didn't understand under his breath. Hercules wrapped his arm around his waist.

"C'mon, she can't be that bad," he intoned. "And besides, we're going to have to go home in a couple of weeks anyways. Might as well get used to having kids around again."

Polly looked up at me, dropping my jacket on the arm of the couch. "Who are they?"

"Herc and Laf," I told her.

"Are they nice?"

"Well, they wouldn't be my friends if they were mean," I said, and tickled her side. "Why don't you go dry off while the three of us talk, okay?" Polly nodded and marched down the hall, still with her muddy Converse on. "That's going to be fun to clean up," I sighed, turning back to Herc and Laf. "Anyways, my dad is pretty conservative, and I don't want Polly going back to his house and talking about how she saw two boys kissing or whatever, so please, hold off on the gay stuff while she's around."

Herc raised an eyebrow. "You're not out to your family yet, are you?" I shook my head. Now is probably not a good time to come out to them. Or like, ever, really.

"Um, no," I admitted. "I'm still not really sure..."

"Oh, yeah. You should probably tell Alex then."

Right then, Alex walked into the room. "Tell me what?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"My sister is here to visit for a few days, and I'm not out to my family yet," I explained. "So do you think we could, you know, keep it on the down low until she leaves?"

"Sure," he said with a shrug. "That's fine. Also, did you get my biscuits?"

"Of course." I reached into my jacket pocket and tossed Alex a tube of Pillsbury biscuit dough, earning a weird look from him.

"What are these?" he asked, puzzled as the tube fell at his feet.

"Biscuits. Like you asked."

Laf gave an amused chuckle. "Cookies," he said. "Alex wanted cookies."

"Well that's just ridiculous," I huffed. "Everyone with a lick of sense knows that biscuits are soft, fluffy pillows of warmth and joy served with gravy."

"No they are not!" Alex countered. "Biscuit literally means "cooked twice", not soft and fluffy! Let me guess, you say soccer too?" he crossed his arms.

I raised my eyebrows. "Um, yes?"

Alex sighed and shook his head, glowering at me. "And I thought I liked you, John Laurens." He kicked the tube of biscuits, and stormed off.

"I can't do anything right, can I?" I muttered, walking to the kitchen. Angelica and Maria C. were sitting at the table, going through a little case of polaroids and having a nice conversation. "What're y'all up to?" I asked, leaning up against the counter.

"Looking through our wedding photos," Angelica replied.

"Isn't that...not legal yet?" I tilted my head to the side and fluffed up my hair.

"Oh, Massachusetts just legalised it in 2003," Maria C. explained. "So since that's pretty much the only place we're allowed to get married, we drove up to Boston and eloped." She held up a picture of her and Angelica, both in white dresses, standing outside of what looked to be a courthouse. "That's us outside of Boston City Hall," she said, before setting it down and picking up another one.

"And that's us at Dairy Queen," Angelica chimed in, and pointed at the two of them posing with ice cream cones. "Mari's mom took those photos."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Two years in October," she mused, smiling over at Maria. "We only got married in May."

"Well congratulations on getting married then," I grinned.

"Hey John?" Peggy rapped her fist on the doorjamb. "Why is there a tiny proto-human in the laundry room?"

"That's Polly," I answered without looking at her.

"Polly?"

"My sister. Speaking of, my dad is very, very Catholic and I'm not out to him yet, for obvious reasons, so I would really appreciate it if you held off on the PDA until she leaves. That cool with y'all?"

"Um, sure, I guess," Maria said. "Does Alex know?"

"I just now told him."

"Is that why he was storming through the house talking about how stupid you are?" Peggy asked.

"No. He asked for biscuits, and I brought him some, but apparently what Alex calls a biscuit isn't even a biscuit–it's a damn cookie," I ranted.

"Mm, why am I not surprised?" Angelica muttered. "Anyways, me and Mari are gonna go out for lunch," she announced. "You and Ria are welcome to come with us." She nodded her head towards Peggy.

Peggy scoffed. "Nope. Wouldn't want to intrude on your little lunch date," she jeered. Angelica just sighed and tucked the case of photos in the pocket of her wool cardigan.

"Fine," she huffed. "See you later then."